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> I will never forget the day I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students, and she told me: “That’s not the s

> I will never forget the day I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students, and she told me: “That’s not the school’s job.” Is there nothing left that parents are meant to teach? Or is it all now the school's job? If so, why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything.

janesvilleseo 11y ago
It takes a village
baldfat 11y ago
> why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything. I feel like that was the reason we had boarding school for the rich and apprenticeships in the early modern period. Children didn't stay with you in the city at around 12 you shipped them off to be an apprentices and live with the master or you went to a boarding school or college by 12 or 13.
- jahewson 11y ago
  The Victorians took this one step further, creating boarding schools for the middle classes to remove the children from "the noxious influence of home" (Nathaniel Woodard); an idea which had its roots in Presbyterian preechings.
cgearhart 11y ago
This isn't about adding to the burden of what schools teach or provide - it's about acknowledging that schools are fundamentally a place to educate _humans_ - so some things that are fundamental to the human experience ought to be considered. I don't think a generation or two raised on "your score must improve" is going to be the hallmark of social progress. I'd much rather have a population that understands empathy. So I'll meet you half way and settle for schools that don't forcibly grind out any spark of individuality, creativity, curiosity, and empathy from their students as part of the hunt for ever higher test scores.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
JackFr 11y ago
> I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students As I read this, it does not imply she thinks it's necessarily the schools job, but rather reflects her concern that she's leaving her child for 7 hours a day to fend for himself in environment of hyper-competitive sociopaths.
detaro 11y ago
False dichotomy in my book. Schools/Teachers totally have an influence on how students act around each other. Parents do too. Parents wanting the school to care about it's influence doesn't mean they don't want to do anything about it.
setpatchaddress 11y ago
You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? Lucky you. "That's not the school's job" -- so no one does it. Empathy is a learned skill, and like all such skills, requires practice.
- hugh4 11y ago
  Most people outside New York have multiple children by the time their oldest goes to school, so there's opportunities to learn these things at home by playing with your siblings. I'm guessing that only children are a lot more common in NYC than elsewhere, though, thanks to the impossibility of affording the kind of living space that people elsewhere take for granted. Perhaps the bitchiness of the kids is attributable to the high prevalence of spoiled only children?
- cuckcuckspruce 11y ago
  >You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? No, but I had friends and social interaction when I was a child, and this social interaction also taught me empathy. It helped to have good, empathetic role models at home too.
bachmeier 11y ago
So if one of the kids walks around and wipes boogers on the other kids, the teacher should say nothing, because it's up to the parents to teach them not to do it? Yes, it is the job of the school to require empathy and kindness of students. Whether or not that is what they learn at home, the kids have to act properly in school, and it's up to the school to make sure that happens.
Lawtonfogle 11y ago
Or for core social ideals, which I would hope basic empathy and kindness are considered, we should teach both at school and at home.

janesvilleseo 11y ago

It takes a village

baldfat 11y ago

> why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything. I feel like that was the reason we had boarding school for the rich and apprenticeships in the early modern period. Children didn't stay with you in the city at around 12 you shipped them off to be an apprentices and live with the master or you went to a boarding school or college by 12 or 13.

jahewson 11y ago
The Victorians took this one step further, creating boarding schools for the middle classes to remove the children from "the noxious influence of home" (Nathaniel Woodard); an idea which had its roots in Presbyterian preechings.

cgearhart 11y ago

This isn't about adding to the burden of what schools teach or provide - it's about acknowledging that schools are fundamentally a place to educate _humans_ - so some things that are fundamental to the human experience ought to be considered. I don't think a generation or two raised on "your score must improve" is going to be the hallmark of social progress. I'd much rather have a population that understands empathy. So I'll meet you half way and settle for schools that don't forcibly grind out any spark of individuality, creativity, curiosity, and empathy from their students as part of the hunt for ever higher test scores.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]

JackFr 11y ago

> I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students As I read this, it does not imply she thinks it's necessarily the schools job, but rather reflects her concern that she's leaving her child for 7 hours a day to fend for himself in environment of hyper-competitive sociopaths.

detaro 11y ago

False dichotomy in my book. Schools/Teachers totally have an influence on how students act around each other. Parents do too. Parents wanting the school to care about it's influence doesn't mean they don't want to do anything about it.

setpatchaddress 11y ago

You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? Lucky you. "That's not the school's job" -- so no one does it. Empathy is a learned skill, and like all such skills, requires practice.

hugh4 11y ago
Most people outside New York have multiple children by the time their oldest goes to school, so there's opportunities to learn these things at home by playing with your siblings. I'm guessing that only children are a lot more common in NYC than elsewhere, though, thanks to the impossibility of affording the kind of living space that people elsewhere take for granted. Perhaps the bitchiness of the kids is attributable to the high prevalence of spoiled only children?
cuckcuckspruce 11y ago
>You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? No, but I had friends and social interaction when I was a child, and this social interaction also taught me empathy. It helped to have good, empathetic role models at home too.

bachmeier 11y ago

So if one of the kids walks around and wipes boogers on the other kids, the teacher should say nothing, because it's up to the parents to teach them not to do it? Yes, it is the job of the school to require empathy and kindness of students. Whether or not that is what they learn at home, the kids have to act properly in school, and it's up to the school to make sure that happens.

Lawtonfogle 11y ago

Or for core social ideals, which I would hope basic empathy and kindness are considered, we should teach both at school and at home.