Except - everyone will consider the docker package from Debian LTS too old for any "real" use and will prefer to do `curl ...|bash` dance to install docker, and

Except - everyone will consider the docker package from Debian LTS too old for any "real" use and will prefer to do `curl ...|bash` dance to install docker, and it will be happy to include statically linked/bundled dependencies. The modern Linux distribution (the one everybody wants to use) is something which has curl and bash, and can execute ELF binaries.