3 ms·

Is that how you view the world? Is politeness a pointless distraction to you? I really, really don’t get people like that. I do think that politeness is fundam

by arrrg 11y ago

Is that how you view the world? Is politeness a pointless distraction to you? I really, really don’t get people like that. I do think that politeness is fundamentally important in human interaction and to expect it (and to be insulted by its absence) is completely normal and natural. Other people shouldn’t by default get priority access to assault your brain (i.e. they better be polite until you’ve built rapport) and I quite like that we as a society shame people into being polite as a way of insuring that. Being polite and considerate is about avoiding extreme psychological reactions, about being considerate and emphatic. I think it’s perfectly fine to criticize people when they aren’t just that (and to not point at the targets of impoliteness and to tell them to toughen up).

Swizec 11y ago
As my math teacher in high school would say "It's not offensive if it's true". But the tone in which it is said, that is offensive. And that's an important distinction to make. If you're insulted/offended by fact, then your life will be tough. But if it takes intent to insult/offend you, then you're what I personally like to call an emotionally stable individual. Perhaps even "mature". For example: I'm short. It's just a fact. I am male and my height is exactly the world average for an adult woman (162cm). There's no skirting around that fact, I'm just short. Now, I could get offended every time this comes up in conversation, or every time someone makes a joke, but what's the point? It serves no purpose. Oh boo hoo, that guy said I'm short. Big whoop. But if you say I'm short with intent to insult me. Then we have a problem. Not a big one though, I'm pretty small.
- k__ 11y ago
  lol Yeah, I have that "problem" that I'm always sounding like I intent to insult people. I tell them the truth, I help them where I can. But I'm also often pretty amused by their problems, because they remind me of myself in the past. People who don't know me well think I'm pretty smug and only come to me for help if everything else failed. They know I can help in 99%, but they don't want to pay the price.
xlm1717 11y ago
This is a quaint view of the world that those in power built up to keep those without power quiet. Society doesn't use shame to make people polite, society uses a power dynamic. If an equal tries to assault your brain, you check them for trying to assert power over you. If someone who already has power over you is not polite, you grin and bear it, and in today's world maybe go online to complain about it.

by arrrg 11y ago

Swizec 11y ago

As my math teacher in high school would say "It's not offensive if it's true". But the tone in which it is said, that is offensive. And that's an important distinction to make. If you're insulted/offended by fact, then your life will be tough. But if it takes intent to insult/offend you, then you're what I personally like to call an emotionally stable individual. Perhaps even "mature". For example: I'm short. It's just a fact. I am male and my height is exactly the world average for an adult woman (162cm). There's no skirting around that fact, I'm just short. Now, I could get offended every time this comes up in conversation, or every time someone makes a joke, but what's the point? It serves no purpose. Oh boo hoo, that guy said I'm short. Big whoop. But if you say I'm short with intent to insult me. Then we have a problem. Not a big one though, I'm pretty small.

k__ 11y ago
lol Yeah, I have that "problem" that I'm always sounding like I intent to insult people. I tell them the truth, I help them where I can. But I'm also often pretty amused by their problems, because they remind me of myself in the past. People who don't know me well think I'm pretty smug and only come to me for help if everything else failed. They know I can help in 99%, but they don't want to pay the price.

xlm1717 11y ago

This is a quaint view of the world that those in power built up to keep those without power quiet. Society doesn't use shame to make people polite, society uses a power dynamic. If an equal tries to assault your brain, you check them for trying to assert power over you. If someone who already has power over you is not polite, you grin and bear it, and in today's world maybe go online to complain about it.