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(This is being heavily downvoted, I'll try to edit but may end up deleting.) So I don't have herpes (EDIT: SIMPLEX, what nearly everyone has), and I realize it

(This is being heavily downvoted, I'll try to edit but may end up deleting.) So I don't have herpes (EDIT: SIMPLEX, what nearly everyone has), and I realize it's not a big deal whether I do or don't. I do know I'm in a minority of adults who are in situations to regularly hook up with strangers, people who don't happen to have Herpes, and it's probably due to the fact that I don't actually do so; I'm very picky and basically don't hook up with strangers, just people I happen to know already or be introduced to, OR hitting it off in very rare cases, by really sharing something personal. In the past this included colleagues! (not very serious work.) What I mean is that if I hooked up wtih strangers even a few times - let's say 10 times in 4 years - then I'd probably have it by now. My reasoning is that given like 80% infection rate, pretty much if I'm going to hook up with people who experience even the tiniest element of network effect, then I'd expect to get it fairly soon. so far my strategy is just to hold out until I meet the right person, who is similar to myself and has had just a few sexual partners and longer relationships. I was married previously, for example, for several years. (I'm in my very early 30s.) But I do feel like I might be missing out. What do you guys suggest I do for more casual dating, other than starting from the pool of people I happen to know or coincidentally run into, or meet at parties or clubs but really, really share something with; rather than the pool of strangers ready to hook up? Given that nearly everyone has it, I'm just not ready for it. By the way I'll go ahead and get it from someone if they're interesting enough to be in a long-term relationship with; big deal, luck of the draw. But if I don't have such a specific person in mind, I'd rather apply that filter first . . . (or my version). maybe there should be a dating site for people who happen not to have it! we're certainly a minority.

rohansingh 11y ago
This article is about the HSV-1 virus that causes cold sores, not genital herpes. It has nothing to do with being "attractive" or "interesting".
- throwawayt1me 11y ago
  I'm talking about cold sores! Also, I didn't realize that was what was causing the downvotes. What I mean is that it's easy for me to hook up with strangers, and if someone is attractive and interesting I'd assume it's easy for them to hook up with strangers as well; so the only question is whether they want to. (or I want to.) The reason I mentioned that is that I thought the main vector was open-mouthed kissing.
  - nommm-nommm 11y ago
    I've had cold sore since before I could remember and certainly before I ever open mouth kissed anyone. Kids often get them from being germy kids. There's really no point in worrying about it because you probably already been exposed. Take it from me, I have chronic cold sores and while they suck there really isn't much use in worry about it. Most people don't get chronic cold sores, I am in the slim minority.
Grazester 11y ago
-"I don't have herpes. I do know I'm in a minority of attractive and interesting people who don't happen to have Herpes, and it's probably due to the fact that I'm very picky and basically don't hook up with strangers" Who the hell has been stroking your ego? Seriously!!! You assume that people only get herpes from fucking other people who have the virus unbeknownst to them!
- throwawayt1me 11y ago
  I've edited that part. I thought open-mouthed kissing was one of the main vectors, are at least an important vector. I don't know why you add "unbeknownst."
thedz 11y ago
so keep doing it > it's probably due to the fact that I'm very picky and basically don't hook up with strangers, just people I happen to know already or be introduced to
joe5150 11y ago
It seems the pool of people you're interested in having sex with is roughly the same as the pool of people you say you would still be with even if they had herpes, so I don't know what the problem here is apart from feeling the need to share a lot of uninteresting personal info.
chickumpox 11y ago
This is why downvotes are a stupid idea. So many mixed signals to misinterpret. Anyone downvoting this guy is part of the problem, because you're just locking him in his own cage of ignorance, without explaining to him why he's getting downvoted. Anywho, the main error in your post really has to do with the fact that you'll catch this kind of thing from water fountains, silverware, accidentally sipping from the wrong glass, touching a paper cup against a fountain soda dispenser, after someone else did the same, and then drinking from said cup, sitting on toilet seats. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Now, instead of being locked in a prison of ignorance, you'll be locked in a prison of germophobia. Ah well...
- throwawayt1me 11y ago
  Thanks, this is useful, but isn't that a straw man? Aren't I basically just guaranteed to get it from kissing people who have it for long enough? I'm not a germaphobe in other cases, I don't mind lightly washing and sharing silverware or drinking out of a glass someone has drunk from. Maybe if they're a stranger I won't put my mouth to it. I think "locked in a prison of ignorance" is quite strong phrasing. Unless I'm wrong about how it's transmitted, if I regularly kissed total strangers I'd have it by now. are you saying I just shouldn't mind at all? (Like, I shouldn't even consider it?)
  - chickumpox 11y ago
    It's not just a kissing disease. The direct, evident exchange of bodily fluids is not a prerequisite. You can get it from a hand shake. Sexual transmission is only incidental, or rather more or less nomenclature, indicating the rough interpersonal proximity required for transmission, and not the specific acts that precipitate transmission. People who spread it won't readily display symptoms while contagious. People have it and don't realize it. Doctors don't even test you for it, unless you specifically ask, since it's not life threatening, and most people who would test positive may have had it since infancy. Simplex I is the more common infection, that even your grandma probably has by now. Simplex II is the skeevy version that your cousin picked up in middle school. Technically speaking, it has to do with the tendency for each species to proliferate in different mucous membranes. The differentiation probably has something to do with the way the human body operates the immune system at different levels in different parts of the body, and over millions of years, each species has adapted to colonize one orifice more readily than another. Furthermore, HSV I can show up on the mouth or anywhere else. HSV II can ALSO show up on the mouth or anywhere else. You can have both on the mouth simultaneously or both on your junk simultaneously, or one on your junk and the other on your mouth. Each species of virus has a tendency to reside in one area and transmits from that area more readily than the opposing area, but it's really just a liklihood, not hard rules that one only happens here and the other there. That tendency to colonize the mouth is what makes HSV I so common and transmissible because our mouths are exposed to more environments and come into contact with various situations and aren't covered behind clothing nearly as often as elsewhere.
wavefunction 11y ago
Somebody some day may lie to you, despite being "introduced." You're not that interesting though, judging from your post.
rangibaby 11y ago
You're bound to get it, or maybe even have it already without knowing it, so why worry about it? It's just cold sores, not HIV.

rohansingh 11y ago

This article is about the HSV-1 virus that causes cold sores, not genital herpes. It has nothing to do with being "attractive" or "interesting".

throwawayt1me 11y ago
I'm talking about cold sores! Also, I didn't realize that was what was causing the downvotes. What I mean is that it's easy for me to hook up with strangers, and if someone is attractive and interesting I'd assume it's easy for them to hook up with strangers as well; so the only question is whether they want to. (or I want to.) The reason I mentioned that is that I thought the main vector was open-mouthed kissing.
- nommm-nommm 11y ago
  I've had cold sore since before I could remember and certainly before I ever open mouth kissed anyone. Kids often get them from being germy kids. There's really no point in worrying about it because you probably already been exposed. Take it from me, I have chronic cold sores and while they suck there really isn't much use in worry about it. Most people don't get chronic cold sores, I am in the slim minority.

Grazester 11y ago

-"I don't have herpes. I do know I'm in a minority of attractive and interesting people who don't happen to have Herpes, and it's probably due to the fact that I'm very picky and basically don't hook up with strangers" Who the hell has been stroking your ego? Seriously!!! You assume that people only get herpes from fucking other people who have the virus unbeknownst to them!

throwawayt1me 11y ago
I've edited that part. I thought open-mouthed kissing was one of the main vectors, are at least an important vector. I don't know why you add "unbeknownst."

thedz 11y ago

so keep doing it > it's probably due to the fact that I'm very picky and basically don't hook up with strangers, just people I happen to know already or be introduced to

joe5150 11y ago

It seems the pool of people you're interested in having sex with is roughly the same as the pool of people you say you would still be with even if they had herpes, so I don't know what the problem here is apart from feeling the need to share a lot of uninteresting personal info.

chickumpox 11y ago

This is why downvotes are a stupid idea. So many mixed signals to misinterpret. Anyone downvoting this guy is part of the problem, because you're just locking him in his own cage of ignorance, without explaining to him why he's getting downvoted. Anywho, the main error in your post really has to do with the fact that you'll catch this kind of thing from water fountains, silverware, accidentally sipping from the wrong glass, touching a paper cup against a fountain soda dispenser, after someone else did the same, and then drinking from said cup, sitting on toilet seats. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Now, instead of being locked in a prison of ignorance, you'll be locked in a prison of germophobia. Ah well...

throwawayt1me 11y ago
Thanks, this is useful, but isn't that a straw man? Aren't I basically just guaranteed to get it from kissing people who have it for long enough? I'm not a germaphobe in other cases, I don't mind lightly washing and sharing silverware or drinking out of a glass someone has drunk from. Maybe if they're a stranger I won't put my mouth to it. I think "locked in a prison of ignorance" is quite strong phrasing. Unless I'm wrong about how it's transmitted, if I regularly kissed total strangers I'd have it by now. are you saying I just shouldn't mind at all? (Like, I shouldn't even consider it?)
- chickumpox 11y ago
  It's not just a kissing disease. The direct, evident exchange of bodily fluids is not a prerequisite. You can get it from a hand shake. Sexual transmission is only incidental, or rather more or less nomenclature, indicating the rough interpersonal proximity required for transmission, and not the specific acts that precipitate transmission. People who spread it won't readily display symptoms while contagious. People have it and don't realize it. Doctors don't even test you for it, unless you specifically ask, since it's not life threatening, and most people who would test positive may have had it since infancy. Simplex I is the more common infection, that even your grandma probably has by now. Simplex II is the skeevy version that your cousin picked up in middle school. Technically speaking, it has to do with the tendency for each species to proliferate in different mucous membranes. The differentiation probably has something to do with the way the human body operates the immune system at different levels in different parts of the body, and over millions of years, each species has adapted to colonize one orifice more readily than another. Furthermore, HSV I can show up on the mouth or anywhere else. HSV II can ALSO show up on the mouth or anywhere else. You can have both on the mouth simultaneously or both on your junk simultaneously, or one on your junk and the other on your mouth. Each species of virus has a tendency to reside in one area and transmits from that area more readily than the opposing area, but it's really just a liklihood, not hard rules that one only happens here and the other there. That tendency to colonize the mouth is what makes HSV I so common and transmissible because our mouths are exposed to more environments and come into contact with various situations and aren't covered behind clothing nearly as often as elsewhere.

wavefunction 11y ago

Somebody some day may lie to you, despite being "introduced." You're not that interesting though, judging from your post.

rangibaby 11y ago

You're bound to get it, or maybe even have it already without knowing it, so why worry about it? It's just cold sores, not HIV.