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The author's initial belief that they were somehow special (even if special in a bad way), plus the author's fascination with their own nature (to the extent th

The author's initial belief that they were somehow special (even if special in a bad way), plus the author's fascination with their own nature (to the extent that they write a blog post about it and how unique their insights are) smacks not of social anxiety but of narcissism. What is the point of posts like this? So we can all get together and say, "oh boy, I really relate to that"? There doesn't seem to be any insight or useful takeaway from this article besides being relatable for a certain class of people who feel misunderstood. Most of the things in this article that the author describes as being harrowing cognitive loads, like how long to make eye contact for or hold a handshake, are things that I have heard very socially skilled people talk about in a humorous manner. They have those same reservations and insecurities, the difference is they don't obsess about them. Look around. There is no such thing as "a normal amount of eye contact". Everyone is just winging it.

joslin01 11y ago
I agree with your overall sentiment, but do think there's value in others relating to each other and then talking about it. > There is no such thing as "a normal amount of eye contact" Yep. When you really learn that everyone is just about as insecure as you, you start caring less about this kind of stuff and just try to make the most of situations.
tempestn 11y ago
The point is that it gives you an opportunity to better understand someone else's subjective experiencing. That can be an enriching experience whether you relate to it or not. If you do relate to it, it might be comforting to know that you're not alone. If not, it might help you be more empathetic toward others. At the very least, it is interesting to many people to understand how others see the world. Regarding eye contact and such, there is no officially mandated normal amount, but there are certainly social norms, which some people are able to follow much more instinctively than others. That said, I agree that a large part of the issue can be that people with social anxiety, or just insecurity, tend to worry about it more than others.
tpiha 11y ago
You literally just described the point. The author was not sure about those things and you just explained it to him by saying that everybody feels that way about it and he shouldn't obsess with it. That's the point, he described what his problem is and people are giving useful comments and suggestions on how to solve that problem.

joslin01 11y ago

I agree with your overall sentiment, but do think there's value in others relating to each other and then talking about it. > There is no such thing as "a normal amount of eye contact" Yep. When you really learn that everyone is just about as insecure as you, you start caring less about this kind of stuff and just try to make the most of situations.

tempestn 11y ago

The point is that it gives you an opportunity to better understand someone else's subjective experiencing. That can be an enriching experience whether you relate to it or not. If you do relate to it, it might be comforting to know that you're not alone. If not, it might help you be more empathetic toward others. At the very least, it is interesting to many people to understand how others see the world. Regarding eye contact and such, there is no officially mandated normal amount, but there are certainly social norms, which some people are able to follow much more instinctively than others. That said, I agree that a large part of the issue can be that people with social anxiety, or just insecurity, tend to worry about it more than others.

tpiha 11y ago

You literally just described the point. The author was not sure about those things and you just explained it to him by saying that everybody feels that way about it and he shouldn't obsess with it. That's the point, he described what his problem is and people are giving useful comments and suggestions on how to solve that problem.