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"traveler" is clearly biased (look at his username) but he makes a good point. Multiple studies have shown that having kids decreases your happiness and increas

"traveler" is clearly biased (look at his username) but he makes a good point. Multiple studies have shown that having kids decreases your happiness and increases your stress. Having kids is a biological imperative and your justifications are mostly backwards rationalizations. I'm guilty of backwards-rationalizing as much as the next guy but it's helpful for consciousness if you're aware of the phenomenon and can be honest with yourself.

axod 17y ago
It depends on what sort of person you are. I couldn't live without having kids. It's what 'the point' is for me. Not to mention the enormous gratification in helping to shape some new human beings and watch them grow into their own personalities. Startups also massively increase your stress and likely decrease happiness for most, but we still do them.
BigZaphod 17y ago
I think it's disingenuous to use this kind of counter-argument to justify some people's almost unnatural hatred of children and the people who have and want them. Backward rationalizations can be used to change your future ways of thinking. In other words, if you feel that the stress of having a child will be well worth it, then you'll tell yourself that over and over while you're stressed. It will become true to you and the perception and emotions of a stress event changes. This kind of reverse thinking is how we grow. Touch a hot stove, burn yourself, and cry about it. Next time you won't want to touch the hot stove because it hurt last time. If you did a study of people who touched hot stoves just after the fact, I'm sure you'd find that touching a hot stove reduces happiness and increases stress levels. However if you wait long enough, this lesson of stoves==hot results in decades of NOT touching hot stoves and NOT getting burned by them. A study of that should reveal that by touching a hot stove once, you've gained a lifetime absence (aside from accidents) of the stress and unhappiness associated with touching a hot stove. Suddenly the one time you burned yourself seems to have been worth the pain.
- zackattack 17y ago
  So the "one time" you have kids causes an immediate intense amount of pain, but for every moment thereafter, it's worth it? No. Having kids is a strenuous process that takes 18+ years.
  - BigZaphod 17y ago
    Do you have kids? I do. If it's all pain, then you're doing it wrong.
    - zackattack 17y ago
      Perhaps biased bc I come from a dysfunctional family.

axod 17y ago

It depends on what sort of person you are. I couldn't live without having kids. It's what 'the point' is for me. Not to mention the enormous gratification in helping to shape some new human beings and watch them grow into their own personalities. Startups also massively increase your stress and likely decrease happiness for most, but we still do them.

BigZaphod 17y ago

I think it's disingenuous to use this kind of counter-argument to justify some people's almost unnatural hatred of children and the people who have and want them. Backward rationalizations can be used to change your future ways of thinking. In other words, if you feel that the stress of having a child will be well worth it, then you'll tell yourself that over and over while you're stressed. It will become true to you and the perception and emotions of a stress event changes. This kind of reverse thinking is how we grow. Touch a hot stove, burn yourself, and cry about it. Next time you won't want to touch the hot stove because it hurt last time. If you did a study of people who touched hot stoves just after the fact, I'm sure you'd find that touching a hot stove reduces happiness and increases stress levels. However if you wait long enough, this lesson of stoves==hot results in decades of NOT touching hot stoves and NOT getting burned by them. A study of that should reveal that by touching a hot stove once, you've gained a lifetime absence (aside from accidents) of the stress and unhappiness associated with touching a hot stove. Suddenly the one time you burned yourself seems to have been worth the pain.

zackattack 17y ago
So the "one time" you have kids causes an immediate intense amount of pain, but for every moment thereafter, it's worth it? No. Having kids is a strenuous process that takes 18+ years.
- BigZaphod 17y ago
  Do you have kids? I do. If it's all pain, then you're doing it wrong.
  - zackattack 17y ago
    Perhaps biased bc I come from a dysfunctional family.