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Everyone different ideas. This is what Miss Manners says: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-graduation-cake-is-to-be-eaten-not-reser

Everyone different ideas. This is what Miss Manners says: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-graduation-cake-is-to-be-eaten-not-reserved/2014/05/20/924f347c-dd23-11e3-b745-87d39690c5c0_story.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-... DEAR MISS MANNERS: My future sister-in-law just graduated with her PhD She told me to call her “doctor,” but I was always told that if you don’t work with someone directly in their field, that doesn’t apply. Is that true? I understand it’s out of respect, but I have never addressed other persons with their PhD as “doctor.” They also put PhD at the end of their names, teach at universities and don’t go by “doctor.” GENTLE READER: There are two attitudes that individuals and universities take toward the use of the title “doctor” for those who hold PhDs. One is that having been earned, it should be used, not only in professional situations when needed for identification, especially in academic positions, but also socially. The other is not to use it — not socially, but especially not in academic positions, because that level of education being assumed, it need not be expressly mentioned. As one professor (namely, Miss Manners’s Uncle Selig) once put it, “A PhD is like a nose — everyone has one. It’s only conspicuous if you don’t have one.” Which form of snobbery is preferable, or perhaps more effective, others can decide. Obviously, your prospective sister-in-law espouses the first-named approach. And she is covered by two rules: 1. Address people as they wish to be addressed. 2. Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.

protomyth 11y ago
I get the feeling in my extended family that words would be spoken to the sibling to indicate that the future sister-in-law was either "too big for her breeches" or the sibling might want to reconsider the whole thing. No disrespect intended to either the future sister-in-law or Miss Manners, but family is first names or nicknames.
x0x0 11y ago
You're conflating personal and professional. In your private life, you're free to be a prima donna and demand whatever your family and friends will put up with. At work, you're not, and unlike Ms Manners, I'm neither your friend nor a family member that has to humor you. Demanding that people play status games is going to get you a fiat no-hire from me, in part because you will find many of the tasks beneath you. And such a person would be unlikely to tolerate calling his or her managers Mr. / Ms. X. As should be obvious, if being called doctor is a deal breaker for you, there are lots of other employers. I think you're unlikely to find many in the valley that will tolerate such nonsense, but it's a free country -- anyone can keep looking until he or she finds a company that tolerates it.
- crdoconnor 11y ago
  "Culture fit" in this case appears to mean "don't say or do anything, no matter how minor or symbolic, that might be construed as a challenge to my authority over you". i.e. it's a big fat euphemism. Just say "no prima donnas" on your list of requirements. Most people will be able to read between the lines and know that you're looking for servility, fealty and obedience in your employees. I, for one, would be happy to screen you out based upon those words. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like me, I wouldn't like you and I wouldn't want to waste your time or mine interviewing with you. Those three words would save us both a lot of trouble.

protomyth 11y ago

I get the feeling in my extended family that words would be spoken to the sibling to indicate that the future sister-in-law was either "too big for her breeches" or the sibling might want to reconsider the whole thing. No disrespect intended to either the future sister-in-law or Miss Manners, but family is first names or nicknames.

x0x0 11y ago

You're conflating personal and professional. In your private life, you're free to be a prima donna and demand whatever your family and friends will put up with. At work, you're not, and unlike Ms Manners, I'm neither your friend nor a family member that has to humor you. Demanding that people play status games is going to get you a fiat no-hire from me, in part because you will find many of the tasks beneath you. And such a person would be unlikely to tolerate calling his or her managers Mr. / Ms. X. As should be obvious, if being called doctor is a deal breaker for you, there are lots of other employers. I think you're unlikely to find many in the valley that will tolerate such nonsense, but it's a free country -- anyone can keep looking until he or she finds a company that tolerates it.

crdoconnor 11y ago
"Culture fit" in this case appears to mean "don't say or do anything, no matter how minor or symbolic, that might be construed as a challenge to my authority over you". i.e. it's a big fat euphemism. Just say "no prima donnas" on your list of requirements. Most people will be able to read between the lines and know that you're looking for servility, fealty and obedience in your employees. I, for one, would be happy to screen you out based upon those words. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like me, I wouldn't like you and I wouldn't want to waste your time or mine interviewing with you. Those three words would save us both a lot of trouble.