6 ms·

Things I'm not allowed to do anymore

83 points by cubicle67 17y ago

pierrefar 17y ago
For a lot of these I was reading and thinking "oh please tell me more".
- romland 17y ago
  Same here! I want to know more about the elevator!
- ratsbane 17y ago
  A few years ago someone gave me a stash of self-adhesive metal labels intended for vending machines. They are imprinted "INSERT 25 CENTS" and have coin slots cut into them. I'm sorry to say I have as yet not stuck them inside the elevators and sent round a company-wide memo: "Due to new cost-saving initiatives and in an effort to promote physical fitness..."
gb 17y ago
Too bad about the cuckoo clock. We have one right outside our meeting rooms.
mlLK 17y ago
Somebody(geek) please reassure me that these 'changes in behavior' are not paramount to becoming a parent because this premise seemed pretty implicit throughout most items in this list. It's hard enough for me to grow up as is; it's especially harder if you still love being immature (yet playful) towards your peers and are older than twenty-two. EDIT: I've been fired from a marketing firm for forgetting to remove my test word 'Poopy' from a Fortune500 company's web-site (running on WebLogic, yikes). No one knew the word was there for like a week since 'Poopy' was not an actual product it only showed up in their glossary. A week later I told my boss after releasing the next update and removing the test word: she flipped out, told the client, and fired me that following Monday because word got around their (the client's) IT department resulting in someone digging up a cached copy of their web-site's glossary and passing it on to someone higher up the corporate ladder. I'm an idiot for using such a vulgar test word but I had no business working there (in a marketing firm), let alone no business editing 14,000-20,000 lines of XML. (seriously, there were about 3-4 XML files that long) In retrospect though, I'm glad it happened because now (then) I finally had a reason to learn Mercurial (or why version-control is important and how branching could have saved my ass) :P
- blantonl 17y ago
  (wow)
- axod 17y ago
  Opposite - having kids IMHO keeps you young, and in touch with your playful side. One of the reasons I had kids early was to do that. I didn't want to be one of those old parents who has already "grown up" and lost all touch with fun.
  - traveler 17y ago
    > having kids IMHO keeps you young Let me guess, you think having a mortgage keeps you thinking independently and on your toes, too? It's amazing the conclusions people will arrive at to rationalize their fucked up thinking.
    - axod 17y ago
      I'm not seeing the parallel there. Having a mortgage is pretty much the most efficient way to save money for the future. But I've no idea why that's related to having kids. And what's fucked up about having kids young in life? It makes a ton of sense when you think about it.
      - gdee 17y ago
        You forgot an (IMHO|IMNSHO) or two in there I think.
      - Retric 17y ago
        The problem with a mortgage is it tends to increase consumption. Most people are fine renting a fairly small apartment relative to their needs, but as soon as they are buying a place they start thinking about having an extra rooms just in case etc.
        axod 17y ago
        I don't think that's the case. Mortgage is just borrowing against your future worth. If some people over estimate that then it's their own problem. The problem is usually silly people borrowing far more than they can afford, and lenders trying to push people into borrowing more than they can afford. But that's not a problem with mortgages per se. Renting is ok if you like throwing money away, or need to move often.
bockris 17y ago
Possibly got the idea from this book. (Depending on how old his kids are.) http://www.amazon.com/17-Things-Not-Allowed-Anymore/dp/0375835962 http://www.amazon.com/17-Things-Not-Allowed-Anymore/dp/03758... We have it and it's mildly funny, there is one line that makes our kids erupt into hysterical laughter everytime.
- z303 17y ago
  It made me think of 'The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army' http://skippyslist.com/list/ http://skippyslist.com/list/
  - ErrantX 17y ago
    Excellent link :) 129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders. :)
traveler 17y ago
> cow-orker’s Grow up.
timinman 17y ago
"I will not dial someone at random and conference them in to the building’s intercom system." LOL Thanks for the laughs. Congratulations on being irreplaceable enough to be able to build such a list. From the sound of things, the list will grow, too.
yurifury 17y ago
Likely the ancestral inspiration: http://skippyslist.com/list/ http://skippyslist.com/list/
- nick5768 17y ago
  This was what I thought the link would be from the title :) Completely and totally off topic, but the first time I read that I laughed so hard I was crying.
gvb 17y ago
"I shall not place a supply of "Sharpie" permanent markers in any whiteboard trays." Sharpies are fun. People take the "permanent" label much too seriously. At work we have picture badges, at one point I was drawing mustaches on other peoples badges and watching them freak out. Alcohol will erase Sharpies as long as the surface is non-porous. (as they say in manuals, try in an inconspicuous place first ;-). One of my victims ran over to the computer room after I clued him in on the alcohol trick. (This was quite a while ago when we had tape drives and there were squeeze bottles of alcohol laying around for cleaning tape heads.) He grabbed the first bottle, squirted his badge, rubbed it, and nothing happened. Then he sniffed the liquid and realized he had grabbed a bottle of water instead of alcohol. Bonus.
teeja 17y ago
The list was a lot shorter when I started: * Don't eat the dirt * Don't piss on the chief's tent (when he's home) * Don't sleep under the horse. * The brown pills are not specifically good.

83 points by cubicle67 17y ago

pierrefar 17y ago

For a lot of these I was reading and thinking "oh please tell me more".

romland 17y ago
Same here! I want to know more about the elevator!
ratsbane 17y ago
A few years ago someone gave me a stash of self-adhesive metal labels intended for vending machines. They are imprinted "INSERT 25 CENTS" and have coin slots cut into them. I'm sorry to say I have as yet not stuck them inside the elevators and sent round a company-wide memo: "Due to new cost-saving initiatives and in an effort to promote physical fitness..."

gb 17y ago

Too bad about the cuckoo clock. We have one right outside our meeting rooms.

mlLK 17y ago

Somebody(geek) please reassure me that these 'changes in behavior' are not paramount to becoming a parent because this premise seemed pretty implicit throughout most items in this list. It's hard enough for me to grow up as is; it's especially harder if you still love being immature (yet playful) towards your peers and are older than twenty-two. EDIT: I've been fired from a marketing firm for forgetting to remove my test word 'Poopy' from a Fortune500 company's web-site (running on WebLogic, yikes). No one knew the word was there for like a week since 'Poopy' was not an actual product it only showed up in their glossary. A week later I told my boss after releasing the next update and removing the test word: she flipped out, told the client, and fired me that following Monday because word got around their (the client's) IT department resulting in someone digging up a cached copy of their web-site's glossary and passing it on to someone higher up the corporate ladder. I'm an idiot for using such a vulgar test word but I had no business working there (in a marketing firm), let alone no business editing 14,000-20,000 lines of XML. (seriously, there were about 3-4 XML files that long) In retrospect though, I'm glad it happened because now (then) I finally had a reason to learn Mercurial (or why version-control is important and how branching could have saved my ass) :P

blantonl 17y ago
(wow)
axod 17y ago
Opposite - having kids IMHO keeps you young, and in touch with your playful side. One of the reasons I had kids early was to do that. I didn't want to be one of those old parents who has already "grown up" and lost all touch with fun.
- traveler 17y ago
  > having kids IMHO keeps you young Let me guess, you think having a mortgage keeps you thinking independently and on your toes, too? It's amazing the conclusions people will arrive at to rationalize their fucked up thinking.
  - axod 17y ago
    I'm not seeing the parallel there. Having a mortgage is pretty much the most efficient way to save money for the future. But I've no idea why that's related to having kids. And what's fucked up about having kids young in life? It makes a ton of sense when you think about it.
    - gdee 17y ago
      You forgot an (IMHO|IMNSHO) or two in there I think.
    - Retric 17y ago
      The problem with a mortgage is it tends to increase consumption. Most people are fine renting a fairly small apartment relative to their needs, but as soon as they are buying a place they start thinking about having an extra rooms just in case etc.
      - axod 17y ago
        I don't think that's the case. Mortgage is just borrowing against your future worth. If some people over estimate that then it's their own problem. The problem is usually silly people borrowing far more than they can afford, and lenders trying to push people into borrowing more than they can afford. But that's not a problem with mortgages per se. Renting is ok if you like throwing money away, or need to move often.

bockris 17y ago

Possibly got the idea from this book. (Depending on how old his kids are.) http://www.amazon.com/17-Things-Not-Allowed-Anymore/dp/0375835962 http://www.amazon.com/17-Things-Not-Allowed-Anymore/dp/03758... We have it and it's mildly funny, there is one line that makes our kids erupt into hysterical laughter everytime.

z303 17y ago
It made me think of 'The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army' http://skippyslist.com/list/ http://skippyslist.com/list/
- ErrantX 17y ago
  Excellent link :) 129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders. :)

traveler 17y ago

> cow-orker’s Grow up.

timinman 17y ago

"I will not dial someone at random and conference them in to the building’s intercom system." LOL Thanks for the laughs. Congratulations on being irreplaceable enough to be able to build such a list. From the sound of things, the list will grow, too.

yurifury 17y ago

Likely the ancestral inspiration: http://skippyslist.com/list/ http://skippyslist.com/list/

nick5768 17y ago
This was what I thought the link would be from the title :) Completely and totally off topic, but the first time I read that I laughed so hard I was crying.

gvb 17y ago

"I shall not place a supply of "Sharpie" permanent markers in any whiteboard trays." Sharpies are fun. People take the "permanent" label much too seriously. At work we have picture badges, at one point I was drawing mustaches on other peoples badges and watching them freak out. Alcohol will erase Sharpies as long as the surface is non-porous. (as they say in manuals, try in an inconspicuous place first ;-). One of my victims ran over to the computer room after I clued him in on the alcohol trick. (This was quite a while ago when we had tape drives and there were squeeze bottles of alcohol laying around for cleaning tape heads.) He grabbed the first bottle, squirted his badge, rubbed it, and nothing happened. Then he sniffed the liquid and realized he had grabbed a bottle of water instead of alcohol. Bonus.

teeja 17y ago

The list was a lot shorter when I started: * Don't eat the dirt * Don't piss on the chief's tent (when he's home) * Don't sleep under the horse. * The brown pills are not specifically good.