I believe there are two different things at work here. One is being an active parent and the other is helping your child develop grit[1] and I don't think they

I believe there are two different things at work here. One is being an active parent and the other is helping your child develop grit[1] and I don't think they are mutually exclusive. At what age can I let my child walk to school by himself? It all depends on the child, neighborhood, and other characteristics. But if my son never walks to school by himself (elementary and middle), that doesn't mean he is going to fail in the face of adversity. Grit is about not saying "good job" all the time and instead saying thing like "you worked hard". You need to teach your children to embrace failure as the best way to learn. I see this in myself. I walked to school by myself, wasn't really helicopter parented, but found school very easy and breezed through everything and was never challenged. When I faced real challenges, I had a hard time learning how to overcome them. I don't know what kind of parent I will end up being, my son is only 3, but I can see myself being very involved in his life and decisions and making sure he is safe. It will be hard to balance between being involved and being a helicopter, but I think helping him embrace failure is the greatest thing I can do. [1] http://mindsetonline.com/abouttheauthor/ http://mindsetonline.com/abouttheauthor/ - It is ironic that the leading researcher in this field is at Stanford.