You have misread the message of the article. Maybe my secondary abstinence isn’t in allegiance to God but to my own broken heart and the fear that seems to

You have misread the message of the article. Maybe my secondary abstinence isn’t in allegiance to God but to my own broken heart and the fear that seems to produce a kind of magnetic repellant whenever I come close to someone I desire. The point is not in the unavailability -- in fact the point is that it is so available but yet she does not want it; and yet that lack of sex is causing her shame (or rather causing her friends to pity her, and that pity to act as a shame, "making everyone else feel a bit more awkward for having a good time" or "[her] secondary abstinence trailing me like a sad ghost or an unwanted dog").