5 ms·
After reading this article I still haven't the faintest idea what I read. Tinder? Make your intentions clear, wrap it up in a few messages. Go get laid. End of
by EC1 11y ago
After reading this article I still haven't the faintest idea what I read. Tinder? Make your intentions clear, wrap it up in a few messages. Go get laid. End of story.
Sex is infinitely easier for women than it is men.
- pavel_lishin 11y agoFinding a willing partner to insert a penis into a vagina is infinitely easier. Finding a good partner that you like and click with and who you'll actually have enjoyable, rewarding sex with is much, much harder.
- klipt 11y agoWell I don't do casual sex, so I could be wrong, but I thought the whole point of casual sex was that it was with people you don't like enough to date. If you like them enough to date, why not just date them?
- pavel_lishin 11y agoYou still have to like them enough to fuck them. I (guy here) have had a few hookups where I didn't particularly like the person, and wasn't even that attracted to them, but the opportunity was there and I took it. I don't really regret it, but on the effort-to-reward scale, it was just barely worth it. I probably would have gotten a better value for my time going to see a movie and eating a burger.
- tomp 11y agoWhy would the second part be harder for women?
- sp332 11y agoThat's the exact stereotype that doesn't fit this woman's story.
- the_mitsuhiko 11y ago> Sex is infinitely easier for women than it is men. I think that's very wrong if for no other reason taht if all you want is unqualified sex then you can get a prostitute of which there are many more females than males, so it should by that measure alone be easier for men.
- sp332 11y agoThat's illegal in most of the US. (Someone asked a cop if he knew the best places to pick up hookers. He said no, he only knew the best places to get busted for it.)
- the_mitsuhiko 11y agoFair enough, it's very different here.
- klipt 11y agoI'm not sure how you got from "there is greater demand for female prostitutes" to "women have a harder time getting laid".
- the_mitsuhiko 11y agoHere (Austria) if you are female and you want to pay for sex you will have a hard time finding it. From what I understand, most male prostitues are actually offering gay sex.
- moron4hire 11y agoNo, in the market of instant sexual gratification, the supply of heterosexual males so far outstrips the demand for heterosexual males that the price is effectively $0. This could be a surfeit of supply or a dearth of demand, but it implies near total lack of demand, because usually supply reaches an equilibrium with non-zero demand that it never really forces prices to $0.
- klipt 11y ago
- rootedbox 11y agoWomen want sex just as much as men. And they want it on the same scale as men(some people like to have sex all the time.. some less so). They make up about 50% of the population. If you are having problem finding sex with someone it's not the other genders fault; but your own.
- tuxidomasx 11y agoExactly. There is an 80/20 bro-science rule that applies to this: where 20% of the guys are having sex with considerably more women than the other 80% of guys. So... if you want more sex, work your way to the 20%; feel for the gradient and walk uphill.
- tomp 11y agoYour sentiment isn't consistent with the fact that it's the men who pay for sex and women who get paid for sex. This wouldn't happen if the supply and demand in the market were matched. Edit: I interpret "want" not as "desire" but as "decide to have sex taking everything into account (desire, danger, risk, ...)"
- dragonwriter 11y agoYou seem to be considering only one of the commodities involved in the exchange; if men controlled substantially more money than women, you'd expect exactly the imbalance you refer to, all other things being equal.
- tomp 11y agoIf all men controlled more money than all women, you're right. But if anything, men control more money than women only in average; there are poor men and rich women, but the transactions between them don't happen to the same extent as between poor women and rich men.
- dragonwriter 11y agoEven an on-average wealth imbalance would produce a paying-for, paid-for imbalance, all other things being equal between men and women.
- scythe 11y agoThis argument is actually a result of men's assumption that their preference in sexual partners is reasonable whereas women are irrational/evil for what they like. Both men and women (assuming a reasonable level of attractiveness/social skills) can get laid pretty easily if they're willing to sleep with partners erstwhile considered undesirable, but when certain men consider this question, they assume that "lowering your standards" is reasonable for women but not reasonable for men.
- EC1 11y agoFat girls can get laid no problem. Fat guys can't. Look how skewed dating sites are.
- scythe 11y agoI don't use dating sites, but I know plenty of fat guys with girlfriends, wives, and children, and many others who get around. Look, a couple of replies up, this genius suggests that she "become a prostitute": https://news.ycombinator.com/reply?id=10402613&goto=item%3Fid%3D10402172 https://news.ycombinator.com/reply?id=10402613&goto=item%3Fi... ... because, to him, it's reasonable for a sexually frustrated woman to sleep with the kind of men who visit prostitutes; that shouldn't constitute a minus on her utility function, right?
- moron4hire 11y agoIf you feel that way, you don't understand what attraction is about. Women want sex. They want it as much as men want it. They just don't want to have it with people whom they find unattractive. No shit. Are you any different? Now, you might say, "but I'm not so unattractive". You might even be Brad Pitt himself, or whomever passes as the male archetype for attractiveness these days, IDK, it's not a scorecard I keep up on. But that's moot. You don't get to define what attractiveness means to anyone. Just because they didn't have sex with you doesn't mean they don't want to have sex.
- jakejake 11y ago"No shit. Are you any different?" In fact, that is exactly the difference. Men want sex so much that they will even sleep with someone to whom they have zero attraction. And afterwards, not only will they feel no shame or disgust, but they might even brag about it to their friends. Sure, some women want sex that much. But, most do not - as you say they value the attraction. So, it's only logical that it's easier for women to have sex. The problem is that sex alone is not enough. So it's not any easier for them to get what they desire.
- moron4hire 11y agoNo, what is different is our various definitions of attractiveness and our cultural understanding of our personal value as a function of sexual partner count. "Zero attraction" is clearly false. I have met very few men who would sleep with a 300lbs woman, even disregarding their own weight. About as many women I've met who would sleep with such a man.
- jakejake 11y agoI think you give us guys way too much credit!
- Mz 11y agoSex is infinitely easier for women than it is men. Yes, if you are a woman choosing to operate like a man. Most women don't, because they are women not men.
- mmanfrin 11y agoYou have misread the message of the article. Maybe my secondary abstinence isn’t in allegiance to God but to my own broken heart and the fear that seems to produce a kind of magnetic repellant whenever I come close to someone I desire. The point is not in the unavailability -- in fact the point is that it is so available but yet she does not want it; and yet that lack of sex is causing her shame (or rather causing her friends to pity her, and that pity to act as a shame, "making everyone else feel a bit more awkward for having a good time" or "[her] secondary abstinence trailing me like a sad ghost or an unwanted dog").