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I say this as a fairly regular Pitchfork reader: The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while
by jmduke 11y ago
I say this as a fairly regular Pitchfork reader: The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax is one of at least the top five worst sentences I've ever read.
(IMHO, their earlier reviews generally were of lower quality than their more recent ones, and they've benefited from discarding/discouraging the more experimental/informal review formats. The irony of this sentence being a hipster antithesis does not escape me.)
- tptacek 11y agoYou take the bad with the good, like Zanzithoph, elephant of bizarre and archaic instruments. http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5950-horse-and-elephant-eatery-no-elephants-allowed-the-singles-and-songles-collection/ http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5950-horse-and-elephant-...
- minikites 11y agoI think you could pull the other four sentences from this article too: "The butterscotch lamps along the walls of the tight city square bled upward into the cobalt sky, which seemed as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap." "Kid A sounds like a clouded brain trying to recall an alien abduction." "It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes." "A lazy disco light spilled artificial constellations inside the aluminum cove of the makeshift stage."
- JonnieCache 11y agoIt makes the vice record reviews seem positively lucid, doesn't it? Picked at random from a google search for "vice music review": Holy shit, dude. Sometimes you just want to punch God in the face. Every time these fucking krauts spew out another aural queef nugget I try to give it a chance, but the second I hear the singer’s thin monotone melodies backed up by lifeless, pointless beats, I remember how few shits anyone would give if these dickweeds were from Chicago. Yeah, yeah, Neon Golden. Sure. I’d sooner give Udo Kier a standing 69 under the Brandenburg Gate than hear this album again. Actually, that sounds fucking awesome, that guy’s a babe.
- sharkweek 11y agoNot that I'm trying to defend the ridiculousness of that sentence, but Brent DiCrescenzo was pretty notorious for being sarcastic and witty. I was always under the impression he was writing that infamous Kid A review intentionally gratuitous
- tb303 11y agoYes, Brent had a fairly famous meltdown known as his Beastie Boys / To the 5 Boroughs review. http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showthread.php?t=21070 http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showthread.php?t=21070 (retraction info here: http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showpost.php?s=1da97f1e4c1a2a3b6d21bb379192ae99&p=285589&postcount=9 http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showpost.php?s=1da97f1e4c1a2a3b6d...) there's a good chance that absurdity was deliberate.
- orbitur 11y agoYou can take that as a given. I've always thought Brent's Lateralus review was the high water mark (low water mark???) DiCrescenzo piece. http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/8104-lateralus/ http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/8104-lateralus/
- hamburglar 11y agoThe best thing ever written on Pitchfork was David Cross making fun of Pitchfork: http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/6044-david-cross-albums-to-listen-to-while-reading-overwrought-pitchfork-reviews/ http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/6044-david-cross-a...