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My stepson tried to stay off Facebook. But then he started missing parties, not being part of evening conversations, had difficulties with groups at school, wa

My stepson tried to stay off Facebook. But then he started missing parties, not being part of evening conversations, had difficulties with groups at school, was missing out on his theatre group. If you just ... stop ... you may find your social circle leaving you behind.

travv0 11y ago
I stopped when I was in school and didn't have a problem with any of these things. Maybe he just needs to find closer friends.
unclebucknasty 11y ago
My sibling comment here is being downvoted for saying he needs closer friends. Maybe that's blunt, but if he is unable to maintain friendships without FB, then something is going on there that shouldn't just be accepted as normal. And, if what you're saying is universally true for kids, or even nearly so, then I'd say that we (collectively, as adults) have failed them in strolling hand-in-hand with them into a world wherein personal relationships are not viable without a profiteering third-party intermediary.
- Ensorceled 11y ago
  It's getting downvoted because they jumped from "he was missing out on party invites and facebook conversations" to "he can't maintain friendships and should get new friends". It's a bit extreme of a position.
  - unclebucknasty 11y ago
    Well, I don't think he/she said "he can"t maintain friendships". The suggestion was that he needed closer friends. And, I think it's reasonable to question how close his friendships are if they are dependent on Facebook. But, that's probably true of society in general, wherein we seem to be trading quantity for quality where personal relationships are concerned. And the generation coming up now has almost no reference point as to any other way.
    - Ensorceled 11y ago
      Again, everybody is extrapolating. If I opt out of the communication mechanism all my friends are using, this is going to cause problems, regardless of how close they are. He didn't join Facebook because he was losing friends, he joined Facebook because of the social friction NOT being on Facebook caused. This is both less coercive and more insidious.

travv0 11y ago

I stopped when I was in school and didn't have a problem with any of these things. Maybe he just needs to find closer friends.

unclebucknasty 11y ago

My sibling comment here is being downvoted for saying he needs closer friends. Maybe that's blunt, but if he is unable to maintain friendships without FB, then something is going on there that shouldn't just be accepted as normal. And, if what you're saying is universally true for kids, or even nearly so, then I'd say that we (collectively, as adults) have failed them in strolling hand-in-hand with them into a world wherein personal relationships are not viable without a profiteering third-party intermediary.

Ensorceled 11y ago
It's getting downvoted because they jumped from "he was missing out on party invites and facebook conversations" to "he can't maintain friendships and should get new friends". It's a bit extreme of a position.
- unclebucknasty 11y ago
  Well, I don't think he/she said "he can"t maintain friendships". The suggestion was that he needed closer friends. And, I think it's reasonable to question how close his friendships are if they are dependent on Facebook. But, that's probably true of society in general, wherein we seem to be trading quantity for quality where personal relationships are concerned. And the generation coming up now has almost no reference point as to any other way.
  - Ensorceled 11y ago
    Again, everybody is extrapolating. If I opt out of the communication mechanism all my friends are using, this is going to cause problems, regardless of how close they are. He didn't join Facebook because he was losing friends, he joined Facebook because of the social friction NOT being on Facebook caused. This is both less coercive and more insidious.