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He also doesn't have someone to give him permission to take a break. Psychologically, it changes things. In the latter part of grad school, my advisor was no lo

by scott_s 11y ago

He also doesn't have someone to give him permission to take a break. Psychologically, it changes things. In the latter part of grad school, my advisor was no longer at my university, and I was working mostly by myself. I worked every day. Not only was there no one to tell me, "Hey, take a day", I also felt, sharply, that any day I took off just meant I was one day further from my goal. Saying "he has the option of separating himself from that stress" is true, but I don't think it captures the mental trap that people feel they are in. I also don't want to ascribe it to ego, because that has negative connotations. I think of it as a combination of not having an outside party to tell you to take some time, and working towards a goal with a single-minded focus.

sandworm101 11y ago
He does have a person. He has himself. He needs to psychologically grant himself permission. It's all in his head. Your situation was different. Your authority figure was absent. That's different situation than not having one.
- scott_s 11y ago
  My entire point is that having yourself is categorically different than having an outsider. This is one reason why even elite athletes have coaches. Many elite athletes will train too much, left to themselves - it's hard to avoid the feeling of "I have not done enough". We're more receptive to a different person, that we trust, when they say "You've done enough. More will harm. Rest." In my case, I'm unsure if having my advisor present would have made a difference. At that point, my work was almost completely self-driven - but that's rather the point of grad school. You're supposed to get to the point that you're calling the shots; the "authority" status of your advisor is supposed to diminish over time. But I'm also not convinced that having an absent authority figure is any different than not having one be design; I don't see how I would have acted any different if for some reason I had officially no longer had an advisor.
dpacmittal 11y ago
I agree. Been freelancing for a while and I'm never able to meet my own expectations. The standards I've set for myself are way too high. It sounds like I have control over my expectations, but its not that simple. Now I'm trying to do my own startup and its worse than ever. I'll probably go see a therapist in a week or so (when I get time!!!)

by scott_s 11y ago

sandworm101 11y ago

He does have a person. He has himself. He needs to psychologically grant himself permission. It's all in his head. Your situation was different. Your authority figure was absent. That's different situation than not having one.

scott_s 11y ago
My entire point is that having yourself is categorically different than having an outsider. This is one reason why even elite athletes have coaches. Many elite athletes will train too much, left to themselves - it's hard to avoid the feeling of "I have not done enough". We're more receptive to a different person, that we trust, when they say "You've done enough. More will harm. Rest." In my case, I'm unsure if having my advisor present would have made a difference. At that point, my work was almost completely self-driven - but that's rather the point of grad school. You're supposed to get to the point that you're calling the shots; the "authority" status of your advisor is supposed to diminish over time. But I'm also not convinced that having an absent authority figure is any different than not having one be design; I don't see how I would have acted any different if for some reason I had officially no longer had an advisor.

dpacmittal 11y ago

I agree. Been freelancing for a while and I'm never able to meet my own expectations. The standards I've set for myself are way too high. It sounds like I have control over my expectations, but its not that simple. Now I'm trying to do my own startup and its worse than ever. I'll probably go see a therapist in a week or so (when I get time!!!)