24 ms·

On Quitting

109 points by prawn 11y ago

atsaloli 11y ago
It's a lot easier to just quit when you are single. I'm lucky my wife was supportive when I got burned out and took half a year off. I'm sole breadwinner. Ah, youth. I'm more careful now about balance.
presidentender 11y ago
But was there anything in particular wrong? Was there anything Dropbox should have done differently to keep her? I realize that some places are wrong for some people, in ways that can't be fixed. I'm just curious whether it's possible to articulate how Dropbox was wrong for the author.
- darkerside 11y ago
  X, Y, and Z were wrong! It really would be nice to get at least an abstract sense of what those problems were.
- juanbyrge 11y ago
  I'm curious about this too. Did she have conflicts with coworkers? Bad management? Did her projects feel like chores? Often if you're in an unhappy situation you can speak up and articulate what's wrong and others will adapt. I suppose if you're young and single you can afford to be impulsive. A pattern of doing that repeatedly can't look too good..
  - tomjen3 11y ago
    She was there for _years_, quitting a job is not impulsive and we are not salarymen. You rarely get massive changes by talking to management (small changes, sure) and if you really hate your job, small changes are rarely enough.
- adevine 11y ago
  She mentioned that Dropbox grew 4x. So, while she didn't (and, I think, wisely) say the exact reason she wanted to leave, a lot of people just prefer working at smaller companies.
  - endemic 11y ago
    I can attest to this. My (soon to be former) company has grown so much, it just feels totally different. I don't know anybody anymore :(
- gypsy_boots 11y ago
  I imagine she's still trying to sort those things out, and we may hear more about them later on. It sounds like the dust is just starting to settle and she's trying to make sense of the whole experience.
gregd 11y ago
I have never been in a position to just up and quit a job without having something else lined up. Are you all trust fund kids?
- YuriNiyazov 11y ago
  Do you not save any money when you work? If you are not saving 10% - 15% of your paycheck into an account where the money is immediately accessible, you are living above your means.
  - timjahn 11y ago
    I'd venture to guess you're single, a renter, and have no children or relevant financial obligations?
    - YuriNiyazov 11y ago
      Only "a renter" is true. I have one kid. We have one family car instead of two. The three of us live in a one bedroom apartment. I carry no credit card debt, but I don't buy any toys. I paid off my college loans in the first two years out of college because I worked like a dog and lived with my parents.
    - bryanlarsen 11y ago
      Having children and/or other obligations makes it more likely you're living above your means. It doesn't change the fact that if you're not putting money aside for emergencies & retirement you are living above your means. Sometimes it's OK to live above your means. I'd willingly go into major debt for my children. But not acknowledging you're doing so while you're doing it will cause problems.
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - mathgeek 11y ago
    You don't need to be single or a renter to save. You just need to make it a priority. I'm the sole breadwinner with a wife and two kids, and we pack away 20% out of every paycheck. We own our home and both cars. Do we live a garish lifestyle? Certainly not, but we travel a lot and adhere to our budget (thank goodness for remote jobs).
mathgeek 11y ago
As someone who knows they wouldn't want nor enjoy the SV lifestyle, I really feel for the author. Not everyone wants to live in that culture, and we need to remind ourselves that it's OK to want to life live differently from it.
- hunterloftis 11y ago
  Yep. I lived there for a year and just didn't dig San Francisco (blasphemy, I know!). Reading the author's experience returning home, how she felt awakened again, really resonated with me because I had the same experience. After one such trip home to North Carolina, my girlfriend and I - sitting in the SFO terminal - started looking at NC houses, just to see. Three weeks later we closed on our home. The valley culture isn't for everyone.
debacle 11y ago
There's literally no detail to any of the logic or rationale in this story. People like faffing about these fantasies, but the most important advice I've ever received in my career was from my father - "Don't quit your day job."
- panders 11y ago
  Seriously, you can't just quit your job without having any other plans laid out beforehand. This is just incredibly dumb and irresponsible...
  - ajkjk 11y ago
    Of course you can, if you set things up appropriately. Life's not all about work.
  - DarkTree 11y ago
    I wonder how many shining examples of - successful people who originally quit something with nothing lined up - it will take before people stop making such naive blanket statements such as this. Does her risk of failure increase by just up and quitting? Oh heck yes, but does that mean it's 100% dumb and irresponsible in every context? You have one life to live and if you don't love what you're doing (she doesn't) and has the skills to do something else (she probably does) and has the guts to change her situation (she does), then in my opinion, she is making the smart and responsible decision.
  - tomjen3 11y ago
    You absolutely can. She did, I can, so can you. Yeah best to have some savings or you may be homeless and hungry for a while but you absolufreakinglutely can, and should, quit your job if it makes you miserable.
ryandvm 11y ago
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." -John A. Shedd Good for her. Or maybe I'm just empathetic since I walk away from my full time job tomorrow...
at-fates-hands 11y ago
Seems like she left a LOT out of the story. She never mentioned what specifically caused her to burn out. Maybe she felt she wasn't good enough as a designer, maybe the work was too demanding, maybe it was too many hours. Maybe this is another cautionary tale about being a woman in tech. The fact she conveniently leaves out huge parts of the story makes me wonder what the real reason was she left. As such, I can't comment other than to point out people quit jobs all the time these days, and the way her story is written, she hints at something, but never fills in the details - so the only conclusion we can make is: She quit her job and is looking for a new job.
- jtheory 11y ago
  I got the impression she's not fully sure what happened, herself. I'm curious to hear the next post, when she's had a bit of time to digest it.
elecengin 11y ago
A lot of the comments are very harsh. I think the underlying message is getting lost: Sometimes when you know something is wrong, it is easy to focus on all of the prerequisites and peripheral problems and never solve the big problem. This type of mistake is even easier with big problems where the difficulty gap between addressing the big problem and the related little problems is widest. Maybe just abruptly quitting was the only way she could see to resolve a knot of dependencies that seemed impenetrable. If she has the resources to attack the knot from that angle, then there is no shame in it.
- xlm1717 11y ago
  Sounds like she has the resources to do so, given all the previous jobs she has had. I would imagine when she is ready to get back into the workforce she won't have trouble landing another job.
XM49inJV49gg 11y ago
Looks like Dropbox is not going public any time soon.
jfaucett 11y ago
This article reminded me in spirit of the jobs quote: "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle." I'm happy the author is not giving up, we in first world societies actually have the luxury to pursue our passions, we have wellfare systems that provide much higher living standards than the majority of the worlds population. Given the relatively low risks of pursuing what you love and the fact that you only get one pass around at life, I feel everyone should live this way
jasim 11y ago
Once you ask yourself about leaving, it is only a question of when, not whether. Sooner, the better. It is not you nor them; it is just time. Tight-knit groups wrap themselves inside a bubble of conformance. The group's very existence is based on a shared worldview about itself - that it is correct. To leave is to question a choice made by everyone else. To stand out in a crowd is physically painful - it is called the pain of independence (Susan Cain). For the privileged, jobs are not about the salary; money is aplenty. It is purpose we're after. What shall you do with yourself when, for the first time in your life, you actually get to choose how to spend your time? There was always the parents, the schools, and the workplaces to give a rhythm to our life and purpose to our days. It is scary the first time we confront it - when we quit an institution without knowing where next to anchor. Next time it'll get easier.
- brianmcconnell 11y ago
  The biggest regrets I have in life stem from ignoring my "spider sense" about a situation. It's often difficult to articulate what's wrong, but if you have a vague feeling something's wrong, it most likely is.
rwhitman 11y ago
A good graphic designer will get bored in pretty much any job where they're not being thrown into drastically different creative challenges every so often. The comfy in-house design job for a single-product company means designing with the same palette and UI standards, using the same brand identity over and over and over. It's boring and creatively frustrating, particularly for anyone who's especially talented. This is why you often see the best creative minds drift in and out of freelance or boutique agencies at various points in their career, having many different clients means having many different creative challenges.
untilHellbanned 11y ago
I'll say it — this post is a vapid pile of crap. It's so over the top dramatic, "I'd been idolizing for years". Really? If your biggest struggles involve feeling guilty about $5 drinks you need better things to worry about. So now "I quit my job" is the new learn nothing, "amazing adventure" startup-y blog post. FML.
- harryh 11y ago
  Indeed. Most quit lit is tiresome. http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/dont-quit-your-day-job/404671/ http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/don...
NumberCruncher 11y ago
Living where your family and friends live and being able to meet them in person on daily/weekly basis is of a high value. Unfortunately the most of us recognize this only after moving to a far away city or country. Leaving home and taking a job in the "most expensive city in the country ... 2,500 miles away from your family" is a lot like a job on an oil rig or as a mercenary. You need the right mindset and motivation. Wanting to "not to fuck up" or to "make mommy and daddy proud of you" or just to "work on a great product" might be fine but in a lot of cases it ends up in burn-out. If you are tough enough and want to make a kill (saving up the fuck-you-money within 5 years and doing after that whatever you want) than set your price and go for it. If you are not tough enough but you want to make a kill than find the best people of the industy, learn from them, set your price and go for it. Otherwise staying next to your family and friends might be the best option on the long run.
whatok 11y ago
Reading through this thread makes me a lot happier with my current situation but also makes me want to quit my job. I live in NYC, have enough cash to cover several years of rent, and am debt free. I would love to take a break but current industry strongly frowns upon gaps in employment. Current contract forces me to take two months leave if I quit which I would think should be enough time off. This is also going to be the first time in my life where I've had time off and not be completely broke so I might enjoy it way too much.

109 points by prawn 11y ago

It's a lot easier to just quit when you are single. I'm lucky my wife was supportive when I got burned out and took half a year off. I'm sole breadwinner. Ah, youth. I'm more careful now about balance.

presidentender 11y ago

But was there anything in particular wrong? Was there anything Dropbox should have done differently to keep her? I realize that some places are wrong for some people, in ways that can't be fixed. I'm just curious whether it's possible to articulate how Dropbox was wrong for the author.

darkerside 11y ago
X, Y, and Z were wrong! It really would be nice to get at least an abstract sense of what those problems were.
juanbyrge 11y ago
I'm curious about this too. Did she have conflicts with coworkers? Bad management? Did her projects feel like chores? Often if you're in an unhappy situation you can speak up and articulate what's wrong and others will adapt. I suppose if you're young and single you can afford to be impulsive. A pattern of doing that repeatedly can't look too good..
- tomjen3 11y ago
  She was there for _years_, quitting a job is not impulsive and we are not salarymen. You rarely get massive changes by talking to management (small changes, sure) and if you really hate your job, small changes are rarely enough.
adevine 11y ago
She mentioned that Dropbox grew 4x. So, while she didn't (and, I think, wisely) say the exact reason she wanted to leave, a lot of people just prefer working at smaller companies.
- endemic 11y ago
  I can attest to this. My (soon to be former) company has grown so much, it just feels totally different. I don't know anybody anymore :(
gypsy_boots 11y ago
I imagine she's still trying to sort those things out, and we may hear more about them later on. It sounds like the dust is just starting to settle and she's trying to make sense of the whole experience.

gregd 11y ago

I have never been in a position to just up and quit a job without having something else lined up. Are you all trust fund kids?

YuriNiyazov 11y ago
Do you not save any money when you work? If you are not saving 10% - 15% of your paycheck into an account where the money is immediately accessible, you are living above your means.
- timjahn 11y ago
  I'd venture to guess you're single, a renter, and have no children or relevant financial obligations?
  - YuriNiyazov 11y ago
    Only "a renter" is true. I have one kid. We have one family car instead of two. The three of us live in a one bedroom apartment. I carry no credit card debt, but I don't buy any toys. I paid off my college loans in the first two years out of college because I worked like a dog and lived with my parents.
  - bryanlarsen 11y ago
    Having children and/or other obligations makes it more likely you're living above your means. It doesn't change the fact that if you're not putting money aside for emergencies & retirement you are living above your means. Sometimes it's OK to live above your means. I'd willingly go into major debt for my children. But not acknowledging you're doing so while you're doing it will cause problems.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- mathgeek 11y ago
  You don't need to be single or a renter to save. You just need to make it a priority. I'm the sole breadwinner with a wife and two kids, and we pack away 20% out of every paycheck. We own our home and both cars. Do we live a garish lifestyle? Certainly not, but we travel a lot and adhere to our budget (thank goodness for remote jobs).

mathgeek 11y ago

As someone who knows they wouldn't want nor enjoy the SV lifestyle, I really feel for the author. Not everyone wants to live in that culture, and we need to remind ourselves that it's OK to want to life live differently from it.

hunterloftis 11y ago
Yep. I lived there for a year and just didn't dig San Francisco (blasphemy, I know!). Reading the author's experience returning home, how she felt awakened again, really resonated with me because I had the same experience. After one such trip home to North Carolina, my girlfriend and I - sitting in the SFO terminal - started looking at NC houses, just to see. Three weeks later we closed on our home. The valley culture isn't for everyone.

debacle 11y ago

There's literally no detail to any of the logic or rationale in this story. People like faffing about these fantasies, but the most important advice I've ever received in my career was from my father - "Don't quit your day job."

panders 11y ago
Seriously, you can't just quit your job without having any other plans laid out beforehand. This is just incredibly dumb and irresponsible...
- ajkjk 11y ago
  Of course you can, if you set things up appropriately. Life's not all about work.
- DarkTree 11y ago
  I wonder how many shining examples of - successful people who originally quit something with nothing lined up - it will take before people stop making such naive blanket statements such as this. Does her risk of failure increase by just up and quitting? Oh heck yes, but does that mean it's 100% dumb and irresponsible in every context? You have one life to live and if you don't love what you're doing (she doesn't) and has the skills to do something else (she probably does) and has the guts to change her situation (she does), then in my opinion, she is making the smart and responsible decision.
- tomjen3 11y ago
  You absolutely can. She did, I can, so can you. Yeah best to have some savings or you may be homeless and hungry for a while but you absolufreakinglutely can, and should, quit your job if it makes you miserable.

ryandvm 11y ago

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." -John A. Shedd Good for her. Or maybe I'm just empathetic since I walk away from my full time job tomorrow...

at-fates-hands 11y ago

Seems like she left a LOT out of the story. She never mentioned what specifically caused her to burn out. Maybe she felt she wasn't good enough as a designer, maybe the work was too demanding, maybe it was too many hours. Maybe this is another cautionary tale about being a woman in tech. The fact she conveniently leaves out huge parts of the story makes me wonder what the real reason was she left. As such, I can't comment other than to point out people quit jobs all the time these days, and the way her story is written, she hints at something, but never fills in the details - so the only conclusion we can make is: She quit her job and is looking for a new job.

jtheory 11y ago
I got the impression she's not fully sure what happened, herself. I'm curious to hear the next post, when she's had a bit of time to digest it.

elecengin 11y ago

A lot of the comments are very harsh. I think the underlying message is getting lost: Sometimes when you know something is wrong, it is easy to focus on all of the prerequisites and peripheral problems and never solve the big problem. This type of mistake is even easier with big problems where the difficulty gap between addressing the big problem and the related little problems is widest. Maybe just abruptly quitting was the only way she could see to resolve a knot of dependencies that seemed impenetrable. If she has the resources to attack the knot from that angle, then there is no shame in it.

xlm1717 11y ago
Sounds like she has the resources to do so, given all the previous jobs she has had. I would imagine when she is ready to get back into the workforce she won't have trouble landing another job.

XM49inJV49gg 11y ago

Looks like Dropbox is not going public any time soon.

jfaucett 11y ago

This article reminded me in spirit of the jobs quote: "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle." I'm happy the author is not giving up, we in first world societies actually have the luxury to pursue our passions, we have wellfare systems that provide much higher living standards than the majority of the worlds population. Given the relatively low risks of pursuing what you love and the fact that you only get one pass around at life, I feel everyone should live this way

jasim 11y ago

Once you ask yourself about leaving, it is only a question of when, not whether. Sooner, the better. It is not you nor them; it is just time. Tight-knit groups wrap themselves inside a bubble of conformance. The group's very existence is based on a shared worldview about itself - that it is correct. To leave is to question a choice made by everyone else. To stand out in a crowd is physically painful - it is called the pain of independence (Susan Cain). For the privileged, jobs are not about the salary; money is aplenty. It is purpose we're after. What shall you do with yourself when, for the first time in your life, you actually get to choose how to spend your time? There was always the parents, the schools, and the workplaces to give a rhythm to our life and purpose to our days. It is scary the first time we confront it - when we quit an institution without knowing where next to anchor. Next time it'll get easier.

brianmcconnell 11y ago
The biggest regrets I have in life stem from ignoring my "spider sense" about a situation. It's often difficult to articulate what's wrong, but if you have a vague feeling something's wrong, it most likely is.

rwhitman 11y ago

A good graphic designer will get bored in pretty much any job where they're not being thrown into drastically different creative challenges every so often. The comfy in-house design job for a single-product company means designing with the same palette and UI standards, using the same brand identity over and over and over. It's boring and creatively frustrating, particularly for anyone who's especially talented. This is why you often see the best creative minds drift in and out of freelance or boutique agencies at various points in their career, having many different clients means having many different creative challenges.

untilHellbanned 11y ago

I'll say it — this post is a vapid pile of crap. It's so over the top dramatic, "I'd been idolizing for years". Really? If your biggest struggles involve feeling guilty about $5 drinks you need better things to worry about. So now "I quit my job" is the new learn nothing, "amazing adventure" startup-y blog post. FML.

harryh 11y ago
Indeed. Most quit lit is tiresome. http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/dont-quit-your-day-job/404671/ http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/don...

NumberCruncher 11y ago

Living where your family and friends live and being able to meet them in person on daily/weekly basis is of a high value. Unfortunately the most of us recognize this only after moving to a far away city or country. Leaving home and taking a job in the "most expensive city in the country ... 2,500 miles away from your family" is a lot like a job on an oil rig or as a mercenary. You need the right mindset and motivation. Wanting to "not to fuck up" or to "make mommy and daddy proud of you" or just to "work on a great product" might be fine but in a lot of cases it ends up in burn-out. If you are tough enough and want to make a kill (saving up the fuck-you-money within 5 years and doing after that whatever you want) than set your price and go for it. If you are not tough enough but you want to make a kill than find the best people of the industy, learn from them, set your price and go for it. Otherwise staying next to your family and friends might be the best option on the long run.

whatok 11y ago

Reading through this thread makes me a lot happier with my current situation but also makes me want to quit my job. I live in NYC, have enough cash to cover several years of rent, and am debt free. I would love to take a break but current industry strongly frowns upon gaps in employment. Current contract forces me to take two months leave if I quit which I would think should be enough time off. This is also going to be the first time in my life where I've had time off and not be completely broke so I might enjoy it way too much.