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Also, how many couples actually keep their email secret from each other? How many would have no expectation of privacy here, and hence view the subject differen

Also, how many couples actually keep their email secret from each other? How many would have no expectation of privacy here, and hence view the subject differently?

Squarel 11y ago
My BF knows my email address, and I know his, but going through each others computers/phones/whatever is a big nope.
- executesorder66 11y ago
  Going through anyone's things (digital or physical) without their permission is obviously very wrong. But can I ask you what kinds of things you have on your computer/phone that you don't want you BF to see? Edit: My girlfriend and I have permission from each other to go through each other's phones/computers etc. and as a result of that we don't feel like the other person has anything to hide, and it brings us closer to each other. I have no interest in going through my girlfriend's phone/laptop, but if she refused to let me do that it would instantly bring up red flags that she doesn't trust me and that she can't be open with me. That's not the kind of relationship I'd like to be in.
  - mattlutze 11y ago
    Nothing or everything, what is there shouldn't be a/the question. Humans have a rare trait in being able to develop cyborg transparent interfaces with our tools. A hammer becomes your hand, as far as your brain is concerned, after you've used it long enough. Phones and other technology do the same thing for our minds. The photos we snap but never review are memories we're trying to collect. Phone calls or IMs a better history of conversations we've had. Someone else going through this technology w/o permission is like them having a way to psychically read your mind. Both are a violation of your self -- your identity, memories, what have you. It's a violation because just as we learn to use tools as physically indistinct appendages, so to do we use ways to capture our minds as indistinct appendages.
  - SmellyGeekBoy 11y ago
    I've had the same email account since the Gmail invite-only days, been on Facebook since 2007. If my GF wanted to look through it all with a fine tooth comb, she could, and there's nothing in there that I wouldn't want her to see. But the very fact that she felt like she had the need to look would suggest a huge failing in our relationship.
TeMPOraL 11y ago
Yup. Different couples have different agreements. Some share absolutely everything, others argree on private areas. For instance, I myself feel no problem with leaving my SO my Facebook or GMail session logged in, but sharing passwords with each other is off-limits. Not because of lack of trust, but as a general rule. If I happen to discover her password by accident[0], I forget it and ask her to change it. [0] - it happens, e.g. it's easy to accidentally mis-TAB when logging in to Facebook and have the password, appended to e-mail, saved in browser's auto-complete for login field.
JustSomeNobody 11y ago
My wife and I don't share email. We think spouses need some privacy. Our computers and phones are personal and private and only sharable if asked. Our work computers are completely off limits.

Also, how many couples actually keep their email secret from each other? How many would have no expectation of privacy here, and hence view the subject differently?

Squarel 11y ago

My BF knows my email address, and I know his, but going through each others computers/phones/whatever is a big nope.

executesorder66 11y ago
Going through anyone's things (digital or physical) without their permission is obviously very wrong. But can I ask you what kinds of things you have on your computer/phone that you don't want you BF to see? Edit: My girlfriend and I have permission from each other to go through each other's phones/computers etc. and as a result of that we don't feel like the other person has anything to hide, and it brings us closer to each other. I have no interest in going through my girlfriend's phone/laptop, but if she refused to let me do that it would instantly bring up red flags that she doesn't trust me and that she can't be open with me. That's not the kind of relationship I'd like to be in.
- mattlutze 11y ago
  Nothing or everything, what is there shouldn't be a/the question. Humans have a rare trait in being able to develop cyborg transparent interfaces with our tools. A hammer becomes your hand, as far as your brain is concerned, after you've used it long enough. Phones and other technology do the same thing for our minds. The photos we snap but never review are memories we're trying to collect. Phone calls or IMs a better history of conversations we've had. Someone else going through this technology w/o permission is like them having a way to psychically read your mind. Both are a violation of your self -- your identity, memories, what have you. It's a violation because just as we learn to use tools as physically indistinct appendages, so to do we use ways to capture our minds as indistinct appendages.
- SmellyGeekBoy 11y ago
  I've had the same email account since the Gmail invite-only days, been on Facebook since 2007. If my GF wanted to look through it all with a fine tooth comb, she could, and there's nothing in there that I wouldn't want her to see. But the very fact that she felt like she had the need to look would suggest a huge failing in our relationship.

TeMPOraL 11y ago

Yup. Different couples have different agreements. Some share absolutely everything, others argree on private areas. For instance, I myself feel no problem with leaving my SO my Facebook or GMail session logged in, but sharing passwords with each other is off-limits. Not because of lack of trust, but as a general rule. If I happen to discover her password by accident[0], I forget it and ask her to change it. [0] - it happens, e.g. it's easy to accidentally mis-TAB when logging in to Facebook and have the password, appended to e-mail, saved in browser's auto-complete for login field.

JustSomeNobody 11y ago

My wife and I don't share email. We think spouses need some privacy. Our computers and phones are personal and private and only sharable if asked. Our work computers are completely off limits.