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> Women almost never initiate touching with men. It is well established this is a sex based "male privilege." Men tend to take it for granted that no woman is a

by mitchty 11y ago

> Women almost never initiate touching with men. It is well established this is a sex based "male privilege." Men tend to take it for granted that no woman is allowed to touch them without permission. I am clear that a man touching me without permission -- a married man, doing nothing to in any way benefit me and intentionally avoiding being helpful so as to not be seen as being sweet on me -- was violating my boundaries. This honestly is news to me as a male. I've had a fair amount of women touch me without permission. Not like hand on thigh or anything, well a couple times, but hand on hand, hand on shoulder, hand on ass, hand on waist. Not saying you're wrong but from my personal anecdata this is not well established. >.< I could bring up more things but to be honest all they are is experiences I've had with the women I've worked with. I try not to let it paint my views of women overall. Also trying to think back if i've accidentally touched anyone at work wrongly, I probably have but might have just been absent minded about it. If that happens absentmindedly is that bad? If so that probably means I'm some sort of male pig because I can't say I never did that at all with any certainty.

Mz 11y ago
There was some female speaker who talked about this. A man in the audience stood up and, iirc, pissed on the idea. She walked out into the audience and placed her hands on his upper arms. He was livid and described it as feeling like he had been "raped." Things are changing, but this remains generally true. If you were absentmindedly touching me, my judgement of that would depend on a great many factors. I have had male friends who were honest to god just friends. Again, I drew my conclusions about the man in question based on a great many factors. It wasn't any one thing. But the touching really stood out, in part because he smacked me hard enough one day that I felt assaulted. I chose to not contact HR. Purely coincidentally, I quit not much after that incident.

by mitchty 11y ago

Mz 11y ago

There was some female speaker who talked about this. A man in the audience stood up and, iirc, pissed on the idea. She walked out into the audience and placed her hands on his upper arms. He was livid and described it as feeling like he had been "raped." Things are changing, but this remains generally true. If you were absentmindedly touching me, my judgement of that would depend on a great many factors. I have had male friends who were honest to god just friends. Again, I drew my conclusions about the man in question based on a great many factors. It wasn't any one thing. But the touching really stood out, in part because he smacked me hard enough one day that I felt assaulted. I chose to not contact HR. Purely coincidentally, I quit not much after that incident.