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My new anti-loneliness antidote? I adopted a puppy. Scout demands that we get out of the house—multiple times a day. She happily makes friends with everyone she

by yason 11y ago

My new anti-loneliness antidote? I adopted a puppy. Scout demands that we get out of the house—multiple times a day. She happily makes friends with everyone she meets. And if the people we meet like Scout, it is a pretty good bet I will like them. I don't know the author's background but this surely is no way to reduce loneliness in itself. Loneliness is, as I see it, about not having a good friend or partner with whom build a meaningful friendship or relationship. Loneliness is about quality and no amount of quantity doesn't make it go away. Of course, you can't find quality unless you wade through enough quantity but meeting new people is consuming in itself. Thus, a natural balance will establish itself. You will spend some time finding friends, and probably a lot more time to just go by life yourself. Also, unless you become your own best friend first it's really hard to build a friendship where you see each other not because you need each other but because you enjoy each others' company so as to choose spend time together. This is where I might suggest that you can't fix loneliness by finding friends per se.

anigbrowl 11y ago
I'm a deeply unsocial person who's often lonely, and unexpectedly got a dog a few years back. My 2c on this: a. the physical exercise that a dog needs is also good for you and can help stave off the depression that can easily accompany loneliness. b. social interaction is tiring for some people. How you got your dog, what your dog is like and so on is an easy, low-effort conversation to have, and it's also one that can be managed without causing offense - if you're tired or having a bad day, you can always cite a need to walk the dog home. This allows you to enjoy some friendly conversation without needing to locate it in any kind of semantic framework (eg 'is this person being friendly or just networking with me'). c. dogs are very generous emotionally and also very reliable. They will try to trick you into playing ball or possibly destroy on of your shoes and try to hide it, but basically you don't need to second-guess them the way you do people (including yourself). Your dog doesn't care what anyone else thinks of you and likes seeing you happy. It may be a simple friendship but it's a very sincere one. d. over time, your dog is in many ways a reflection of you, a four-legged psychological mirror, if you like. If you choose, you can learn and adjust things about yourself through observing how your dog responds to you. If you need to make life changes, your dog doesn't need you to explain them. So while a dog won't cure loneliness, they're excellent at helping you deal with it.
sliverstorm 11y ago
I suspect you're overthinking it a little. As my mother would have said, "At least it gets you out of the house". A puppy doesn't solve every problem. It doesn't magically find best friends for you. But it nudges you to make the first step, and keeps you from being a complete shut-in and starting a downward spiral of isolation.

by yason 11y ago

anigbrowl 11y ago

I'm a deeply unsocial person who's often lonely, and unexpectedly got a dog a few years back. My 2c on this: a. the physical exercise that a dog needs is also good for you and can help stave off the depression that can easily accompany loneliness. b. social interaction is tiring for some people. How you got your dog, what your dog is like and so on is an easy, low-effort conversation to have, and it's also one that can be managed without causing offense - if you're tired or having a bad day, you can always cite a need to walk the dog home. This allows you to enjoy some friendly conversation without needing to locate it in any kind of semantic framework (eg 'is this person being friendly or just networking with me'). c. dogs are very generous emotionally and also very reliable. They will try to trick you into playing ball or possibly destroy on of your shoes and try to hide it, but basically you don't need to second-guess them the way you do people (including yourself). Your dog doesn't care what anyone else thinks of you and likes seeing you happy. It may be a simple friendship but it's a very sincere one. d. over time, your dog is in many ways a reflection of you, a four-legged psychological mirror, if you like. If you choose, you can learn and adjust things about yourself through observing how your dog responds to you. If you need to make life changes, your dog doesn't need you to explain them. So while a dog won't cure loneliness, they're excellent at helping you deal with it.

sliverstorm 11y ago

I suspect you're overthinking it a little. As my mother would have said, "At least it gets you out of the house". A puppy doesn't solve every problem. It doesn't magically find best friends for you. But it nudges you to make the first step, and keeps you from being a complete shut-in and starting a downward spiral of isolation.