This is fascinating but I would be even more interested in actionable advice. Where is the ballance between being polite and ass kissing? Is the male / female d

This is fascinating but I would be even more interested in actionable advice. Where is the ballance between being polite and ass kissing? Is the male / female difference in openness productive or contra? I understand that it greatly depends on the company culture, but as a non-native speaker and programmer (geek?) I usually struggle to decide how much information is appropriate in a sick day request and all my emails (up/dow/sideways) usually contain multiple "please" and "thanks". Do you know any "communication in office for geeks 101"?