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As amazing as you think your empathy is, I suspect your comment comes from a sense of feeling superior because you are applying your value system in a place whe

As amazing as you think your empathy is, I suspect your comment comes from a sense of feeling superior because you are applying your value system in a place where it has no use at all.

Frondo 11y ago
Yeah, you're probably right, but I'd go so far as to place all empathy as coming from a place of superiority. Some poor guy can feel sorry for a rich dude because the poor guy knows his friends really like him and aren't just out for his money. The childless couple can feel sorry for how the couple with children has no free time, and the couple with kids can feel sorry for how the childless couple doesn't experience the joy of having a family, and so on, and so on. That said, I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. It may be rewarding, but it doesn't sound very fun. AND, if it's fun for them, then great! Different strokes and all. I hope they're as satisfied at the end of their days as I suspect I will be, looking back on life.
- Retra 11y ago
  > I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. That would actually describe most of my life, including the parts where I wasn't being paid to work. However, the reason I didn't have those things is because, outside of work, all I think about is work. I don't want friends who don't want to talk about work, because it is the most important thing in my life. I don't want a romantic partner who doesn't want to work with me because my work is the top priority. I don't want human engagement outside of work because it is time I could put into my work. The bottom line is this: the best way for me to make the world a better, more enjoyable place for both myself and for others is for me to be successful at my work. Anything that detracts from that becomes stressful and frustrating to deal with, and ultimately feels pointless.
  - Frondo 11y ago
    That's great! How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? See, what gets me about that attitude is, that kind of closed-off attitude is what I took into my first few startups. It's a tunnel-vision kinda thing, where I was pushing my ideas out into the world, but not engaging as a person with people (who, I assure you, are not all so focused on work). It never worked well, because people all want a lot of different things, and rarely does that all just line up with what I want. But talking to people about their interests, listening and engaging with them on the human level? There's gold there, both in the friendships and the business that comes out of it.
    - Retra 11y ago
      The word 'work' just has connotations that it needn't have. For instance, I would consider "raising children" and "nurturing relationships" to be work, and I think if people are going to do them at all, then they should have an obligation to do them well, and they should be paid for their efforts. >How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? Because the work I do is general enough that it doesn't apply specifically to me or my culture. If I were to summarize, I would say my work is "to ensure by any means that the best possible decisions are made by as many people as possible in every situation in which I'm involved." Right now, there's a major technological aspect to that, since the capability of machines to advance human decision-making and communication is ripe for some real improvement. (Specifically in machine ethics.) These are things I will work on regardless of whether or not I am employed to do them. I only try to communicate it clearly enough and be successful enough at it that I can survive to do it with minimal obstruction. So even though people want a lot of different things, they all want to be more capable at getting them, and that's what I am driving toward.
    - CamperBob2 11y ago
      How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? How do you know s/he's not? And who asked you? These attitudes toward work-life balance are something we must decide for ourselves, and then live with.
- prostoalex 11y ago
  > That said, I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. All three of those things are really available throughout life and are not that hard to accumulate once one sets his/her mind to it. In fact, she'll probably have access to higher caliber of candidates who'd know her background and find her intellectually stimulating in those capacities. Whereas the opportunity to move humanity forward in a major way, with a matching set of skills (and energy of a young person) is more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.
zasz 11y ago
It's debatable whether that kind of monomania is really necessary. Steve Jobs still found time to have a family. Zuckerberg and his pediatrician wife just had their first kid. pg and Jessica have what, two kids now? Anyway, studies show a lack of interpersonal relationships will actually shorten your lifespan, so OP's comment is hardly misplaced. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_exa...
luxstyle 11y ago
Not at all. I've myself been burnt out from focusing too much on work. It sucks to be out of balance. If you feel that work is all that matters and you don't need anything else to be happy then good for you. I have a feeling that others might feel different.
CyberDildonics 11y ago
Wow, I think you could not be more spot on.
dang 11y ago
As amazing as you think your empathy is, I suspect your comment comes from a sense of feeling superior Had you raised it as a question, this might have been a fine point, but putting it uncharitably makes it mean, and throwing in a personal swipe breaks the HN guidelines outright. Please don't do that.

As amazing as you think your empathy is, I suspect your comment comes from a sense of feeling superior because you are applying your value system in a place where it has no use at all.

Frondo 11y ago

Yeah, you're probably right, but I'd go so far as to place all empathy as coming from a place of superiority. Some poor guy can feel sorry for a rich dude because the poor guy knows his friends really like him and aren't just out for his money. The childless couple can feel sorry for how the couple with children has no free time, and the couple with kids can feel sorry for how the childless couple doesn't experience the joy of having a family, and so on, and so on. That said, I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. It may be rewarding, but it doesn't sound very fun. AND, if it's fun for them, then great! Different strokes and all. I hope they're as satisfied at the end of their days as I suspect I will be, looking back on life.

Retra 11y ago
> I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. That would actually describe most of my life, including the parts where I wasn't being paid to work. However, the reason I didn't have those things is because, outside of work, all I think about is work. I don't want friends who don't want to talk about work, because it is the most important thing in my life. I don't want a romantic partner who doesn't want to work with me because my work is the top priority. I don't want human engagement outside of work because it is time I could put into my work. The bottom line is this: the best way for me to make the world a better, more enjoyable place for both myself and for others is for me to be successful at my work. Anything that detracts from that becomes stressful and frustrating to deal with, and ultimately feels pointless.
- Frondo 11y ago
  That's great! How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? See, what gets me about that attitude is, that kind of closed-off attitude is what I took into my first few startups. It's a tunnel-vision kinda thing, where I was pushing my ideas out into the world, but not engaging as a person with people (who, I assure you, are not all so focused on work). It never worked well, because people all want a lot of different things, and rarely does that all just line up with what I want. But talking to people about their interests, listening and engaging with them on the human level? There's gold there, both in the friendships and the business that comes out of it.
  - Retra 11y ago
    The word 'work' just has connotations that it needn't have. For instance, I would consider "raising children" and "nurturing relationships" to be work, and I think if people are going to do them at all, then they should have an obligation to do them well, and they should be paid for their efforts. >How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? Because the work I do is general enough that it doesn't apply specifically to me or my culture. If I were to summarize, I would say my work is "to ensure by any means that the best possible decisions are made by as many people as possible in every situation in which I'm involved." Right now, there's a major technological aspect to that, since the capability of machines to advance human decision-making and communication is ripe for some real improvement. (Specifically in machine ethics.) These are things I will work on regardless of whether or not I am employed to do them. I only try to communicate it clearly enough and be successful enough at it that I can survive to do it with minimal obstruction. So even though people want a lot of different things, they all want to be more capable at getting them, and that's what I am driving toward.
  - CamperBob2 11y ago
    How do you actually know you're making the world a better place for others, when all you talk about and think about is work? How do you know s/he's not? And who asked you? These attitudes toward work-life balance are something we must decide for ourselves, and then live with.
prostoalex 11y ago
> That said, I sure feel sorry for someone with no friends, romantic partners, or human engagement on anything outside their work. All three of those things are really available throughout life and are not that hard to accumulate once one sets his/her mind to it. In fact, she'll probably have access to higher caliber of candidates who'd know her background and find her intellectually stimulating in those capacities. Whereas the opportunity to move humanity forward in a major way, with a matching set of skills (and energy of a young person) is more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.

zasz 11y ago

It's debatable whether that kind of monomania is really necessary. Steve Jobs still found time to have a family. Zuckerberg and his pediatrician wife just had their first kid. pg and Jessica have what, two kids now? Anyway, studies show a lack of interpersonal relationships will actually shorten your lifespan, so OP's comment is hardly misplaced. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_exa...

luxstyle 11y ago

Not at all. I've myself been burnt out from focusing too much on work. It sucks to be out of balance. If you feel that work is all that matters and you don't need anything else to be happy then good for you. I have a feeling that others might feel different.

CyberDildonics 11y ago

Wow, I think you could not be more spot on.

dang 11y ago

As amazing as you think your empathy is, I suspect your comment comes from a sense of feeling superior Had you raised it as a question, this might have been a fine point, but putting it uncharitably makes it mean, and throwing in a personal swipe breaks the HN guidelines outright. Please don't do that.