5 ms·

How to Turn Down Freelance Work Gracefully

56 points by coreymaass 11y ago

wanderfowl 11y ago
Very nicely written, and a good template, too. If you use it too much, it could fall flat, but even a personalized sentence of "I really think that [disrupting the fish-taco industry by serving Gungans instead] is a great approach!", if you can be sincere, is another way to help the whole thing be remembered fondly by all involved.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  Oh, man. I dream of the day a client comes to me with a project as interesting as a Gungan-targeting fish-taco stand website! Also, thanks for the compliment! That e-mail template took forever to iterate into what you see today. :)
nerdy 11y ago
I just respond to people and kindly tell them why I'm unable to accept the work. Most people can appreciate everyone having limited time and resources. Doesn't an e-mail template (even with modest customization) seem impersonal? Maybe I'm getting old.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  nerdy, you're right that it's not the most personal approach. However, that's kind-of the point; rejecting work can sometimes result in the rejected party initiating a more heated exchange than is good for either party. By maintaining the arms-length that an e-mail provides, it helps the freelancer (especially one who is new, uncertain of herself, or who hasn't learned to hold boundaries yet) to avoid getting sucked in to anything. Plus, it provides a paper trail for later when the client comes begging back and the freelancer wonders "now, why did I turn this project down? Oooooh, right, they wanted to gnarfle the garthock, and that feels unethical." So, while you're right in that it could be handled more personally, my experience tells me that it's often better for all involved if it's just a weensy bit less personal.
nxb 11y ago
The template sounds very passive-aggressive, and the excessive length of the template makes the receiver feel like the freelancer has something to hide.
- gk1 11y ago
  That's a strange way to look at it. It shows gratitude, explains the decision in a straightforward manner, provides helpful referrals, and keeps the bridge intact. Do you have another option?
  - nxb 11y ago
    A moody client could see it as insulting to their plans or project.
    - chris_hawk 11y ago
      You're right, a moody client could. That said, I don't live my life or run my business walking on eggshells, concerned with what the moody might do or say or think. I don't recommend anyone else do so, either. When I craft interactions, I do so using a "reasonable client" standard, not a "moody client" standard. I can bear no responsibility for whatever negative interpretation a moody client may choose to assign to my words. My responsibility as a professional is to communicate in a clean, honest, and not-tone-deaf manner. Now, if I fail on any of those three points, that's on me, for certain. And when I deliver a piece of communication that comes up "green lights" on those three points, it's on the recipient if they have a negative emotional reaction.
      - nxb 11y ago
        Someone pasting that template to a client is doing the opposite of "honest" communication :)
        chris_hawk 11y ago
        I disagree. For whatever reason - the tech, the client, etc - the project is a bad fit. The e-mail says so as politely as possible, and moves on. Looks like you & me are from different planets perspective-wise, my friend. :)
damoncali 11y ago
Two things: 1. When I talk to someone about a new project, I do it in person or on the phone, not email. This is important. 2. The first call is always to see if the work would be a good fit, and I'm clear about that. If the client or the project isn't a good fit, I just say so. "I'm not the best guy for this work right now, you might want to talk to so and so".
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  That's pretty reasonable. Although I didn't explicitly SAY so in the article (and I really should have), the "Listen to them" step is intended to be via phone or in-person. Regarding #2, is it always clear to you on the spot if a project isn't a good fit? That's kind of awareness is rare, IME, and kudos to you for having it! A lot of the freelancers that I've mentored need a bit of time & space to ponder and re-play the tape in their head, so to speak, before they can come to that conclusion.
  - damoncali 11y ago
    I hadn't really thought about it, but yes, I generally know right away. I sometimes need a little time to assess the project's scope or technical detail, but personality wise, I know almost instantly if the client is going to be a problem. Clues: Does the client respect your time? Texting me at 11:00 PM to talk about your project isn't going to work. Bad. Do not let the client intrude like this. It will drive you mad. Does the client want to defer payment because they're talking to a big customer who needs to sign on? That's utterly unrealistic. Bad. Clients who are about to sign big customers are well past the dev hiring stage. This speaks to poor business management skills. Does the client have leave a wake of unreliable developers in his path? If so, tread carefully. One is ok- there are a lot of flakey devs out there. Two is not. I once had a guy ask me if I could asses his previous dev's work as support for a small claims case. Um. no. Does the client want to offer equity instead of cash? This is almost always bad. People who know what they're doing generally have some cash to get started, and generally prefer to use it. You might find a good client doing this, but it's very rare in my experience. Does the client want to talk about entrepreneurship or does he have something to build? I get a lot of talkers. See the part above about respecting my time. Has the client actually thought about what it is he wants? Does the client have wildly misplaced sense of the technical scope of his project? Just say no. Does the client come off as lacking in confidence? This isn't horrible, but they tend to be short lived, one off projects. Can the client communicate clearly? This can be a real problem if they can't. Does the client want you for crunch time because he planned poorly? <- Reread the last 4 words of this sentence. Does the client want you to work with some cheap overseas code because they blew half their budget on what they thought would be a good deal and don't realize they have to start over now? The theme is people in over their heads. Sometimes it's just not going to work, and if you pay attention, you can tell pretty easily.
mariawatson44 11y ago
The most important thing in my point of view is that you should always "OWN" the project and work like as your own. This is what I learned from my career
- coreymaass 11y ago
  I often promoted myself as a "CTO for hire" with that sort of attitude. Definitely helps.
  - chris_hawk 11y ago
    "CTO for hire" sounds like pretty unforgiving work! It's a good thing you keep strong boundaries, it's wild out there.
    - coreymaass 11y ago
      I actually got a lot better response, in that my opinion was valued higher. Compared to being considered a mere code monkey.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  This is important, and IMO it's the thing that most freelancers neglect. They freelance the same way they did their last W2 job - waiting for the boss to tell them what to do. Freelancing requires a whole 'nother type of thinking and self-accountability. It's one of the most common things I end up mentoring freelancers on.
imaginenore 11y ago
Why not outsource and pocket the difference?
- s73v3r 11y ago
  Because part of the reason you might not want to take the job would be because of the people you'd have to work with.
  - chris_hawk 11y ago
    Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Very astute, s73v3r. Client projects can be more like marriages than most freelancer are aware of, or would want to admit if they were.
Udo 11y ago
Being mainly a web programmer, I get a lot of very bogus inquiries (like re-implementing multi-million dollar websites in a day) and requests from companies doing projects that look very very painful if not outright doomed. I tried several ways of letting these people down gently, and only one actually works in all cases - even though the turn-down email is often a bit of a lie, sorry to say. The problem with the whole "I don't think this is a good fit" angle is project owners will then try to convince you why it should be an excellent fit, and they're often not wrong. If you advertise yourself as, say, a full-stack web app developer, it's difficult turning down someone asking you to help out on a generic web app. The second thing I tried is reasoning with people by letting them know why I personally think the project is a bad idea, or is not salvageable. Unsurprisingly, it's almost impossible to do this without insulting them, or without inviting responses like "well, then maybe you're just too incompetent for this". So the only thing that actually works in my experience is: "sorry, I'm fully booked at the moment, so I can't take this on". The beauty of this approach, even though I recognize it's morally questionable, is that it's an entirely realistic reason. In fact, it's the exact same response I send out when I am indeed fully booked. You leave that person behind with a neutral impression, and they still feel good about their project (which is important because I could be very wrong in my judgement of it).
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  Udo, that's not a bad approach, and I've used it myself. But I always felt bad for outright lying. At least by saying the project is a bad fit, I can say I'm being honest. Now that I've said this, I'm sure I'll end telling someone "uh...I'm all booked up" before the week is out. :) That said, IMO the word "No" is a full sentence, and when clients do as you describe, trying to forcefully argue why it should be a good fit, I simply hold to my original rejection and don't participate in that discussion. They may want very badly to initiate a game of tug-o-war, but unless I agree to pull on the other end of that rope, it's not happening. :) I agree 100% with you about the pitfalls of giving a personal critique of why the project is a bad fit/poor idea/not salvageable. That's just bad news. Also, those bogus inquiries you mention? OMG BANE OF A FREELANCERS EXISTENCE. Not a single week goes by where I don't have an interaction like this: Small Biz Owner: "I have an app idea!" Me: "Of course you do." Small Biz Owner: "You have to sign an NDA before I'll tell you!" Me: "Straight-up 'no'." Small Biz Owner: "OK, then...my idea is 'Twitter, but for law enforcement officers'! And they have to pay for it! It's GUARANTEED to make millions!" Me: "OK, we can build & launch it for $10k." Small Biz Owner: "What?!? That...ten THOUSAND? That's preposterous!" Me: "It's guaranteed to make millions, right?" Small Biz Owner" "Yeah, but...can't you do it for equity?" Me: "Get out of my office." (note: the above exchange has been hyperbolized for comedic effect)
sandworm101 11y ago
You think it's bad in tech, try putting 'legal' or 'attorney' into you profile. "I need a TOS document for a social media website that is binding in all jurisdictions. 50$" or.. "Our app needs a privacy policy that will protect us from lawsuit in China and Europe. 100$" I don't turn them down anymore. Rather, I unless I have an ethical duty I don't respond. It always ends in an ugly argument.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  You know, my first career aspiration was to be an attorney. Seriously. And now I learn that I didn't even dodge a bullet by becoming a developer instead? Heartbreaking. :)

56 points by coreymaass 11y ago

Very nicely written, and a good template, too. If you use it too much, it could fall flat, but even a personalized sentence of "I really think that [disrupting the fish-taco industry by serving Gungans instead] is a great approach!", if you can be sincere, is another way to help the whole thing be remembered fondly by all involved.

chris_hawk 11y ago
Oh, man. I dream of the day a client comes to me with a project as interesting as a Gungan-targeting fish-taco stand website! Also, thanks for the compliment! That e-mail template took forever to iterate into what you see today. :)

nerdy 11y ago

I just respond to people and kindly tell them why I'm unable to accept the work. Most people can appreciate everyone having limited time and resources. Doesn't an e-mail template (even with modest customization) seem impersonal? Maybe I'm getting old.

chris_hawk 11y ago
nerdy, you're right that it's not the most personal approach. However, that's kind-of the point; rejecting work can sometimes result in the rejected party initiating a more heated exchange than is good for either party. By maintaining the arms-length that an e-mail provides, it helps the freelancer (especially one who is new, uncertain of herself, or who hasn't learned to hold boundaries yet) to avoid getting sucked in to anything. Plus, it provides a paper trail for later when the client comes begging back and the freelancer wonders "now, why did I turn this project down? Oooooh, right, they wanted to gnarfle the garthock, and that feels unethical." So, while you're right in that it could be handled more personally, my experience tells me that it's often better for all involved if it's just a weensy bit less personal.

nxb 11y ago

The template sounds very passive-aggressive, and the excessive length of the template makes the receiver feel like the freelancer has something to hide.

gk1 11y ago
That's a strange way to look at it. It shows gratitude, explains the decision in a straightforward manner, provides helpful referrals, and keeps the bridge intact. Do you have another option?
- nxb 11y ago
  A moody client could see it as insulting to their plans or project.
  - chris_hawk 11y ago
    You're right, a moody client could. That said, I don't live my life or run my business walking on eggshells, concerned with what the moody might do or say or think. I don't recommend anyone else do so, either. When I craft interactions, I do so using a "reasonable client" standard, not a "moody client" standard. I can bear no responsibility for whatever negative interpretation a moody client may choose to assign to my words. My responsibility as a professional is to communicate in a clean, honest, and not-tone-deaf manner. Now, if I fail on any of those three points, that's on me, for certain. And when I deliver a piece of communication that comes up "green lights" on those three points, it's on the recipient if they have a negative emotional reaction.
    - nxb 11y ago
      Someone pasting that template to a client is doing the opposite of "honest" communication :)
      - chris_hawk 11y ago
        I disagree. For whatever reason - the tech, the client, etc - the project is a bad fit. The e-mail says so as politely as possible, and moves on. Looks like you & me are from different planets perspective-wise, my friend. :)

damoncali 11y ago

Two things: 1. When I talk to someone about a new project, I do it in person or on the phone, not email. This is important. 2. The first call is always to see if the work would be a good fit, and I'm clear about that. If the client or the project isn't a good fit, I just say so. "I'm not the best guy for this work right now, you might want to talk to so and so".

chris_hawk 11y ago
That's pretty reasonable. Although I didn't explicitly SAY so in the article (and I really should have), the "Listen to them" step is intended to be via phone or in-person. Regarding #2, is it always clear to you on the spot if a project isn't a good fit? That's kind of awareness is rare, IME, and kudos to you for having it! A lot of the freelancers that I've mentored need a bit of time & space to ponder and re-play the tape in their head, so to speak, before they can come to that conclusion.
- damoncali 11y ago
  I hadn't really thought about it, but yes, I generally know right away. I sometimes need a little time to assess the project's scope or technical detail, but personality wise, I know almost instantly if the client is going to be a problem. Clues: Does the client respect your time? Texting me at 11:00 PM to talk about your project isn't going to work. Bad. Do not let the client intrude like this. It will drive you mad. Does the client want to defer payment because they're talking to a big customer who needs to sign on? That's utterly unrealistic. Bad. Clients who are about to sign big customers are well past the dev hiring stage. This speaks to poor business management skills. Does the client have leave a wake of unreliable developers in his path? If so, tread carefully. One is ok- there are a lot of flakey devs out there. Two is not. I once had a guy ask me if I could asses his previous dev's work as support for a small claims case. Um. no. Does the client want to offer equity instead of cash? This is almost always bad. People who know what they're doing generally have some cash to get started, and generally prefer to use it. You might find a good client doing this, but it's very rare in my experience. Does the client want to talk about entrepreneurship or does he have something to build? I get a lot of talkers. See the part above about respecting my time. Has the client actually thought about what it is he wants? Does the client have wildly misplaced sense of the technical scope of his project? Just say no. Does the client come off as lacking in confidence? This isn't horrible, but they tend to be short lived, one off projects. Can the client communicate clearly? This can be a real problem if they can't. Does the client want you for crunch time because he planned poorly? <- Reread the last 4 words of this sentence. Does the client want you to work with some cheap overseas code because they blew half their budget on what they thought would be a good deal and don't realize they have to start over now? The theme is people in over their heads. Sometimes it's just not going to work, and if you pay attention, you can tell pretty easily.

mariawatson44 11y ago

The most important thing in my point of view is that you should always "OWN" the project and work like as your own. This is what I learned from my career

coreymaass 11y ago
I often promoted myself as a "CTO for hire" with that sort of attitude. Definitely helps.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  "CTO for hire" sounds like pretty unforgiving work! It's a good thing you keep strong boundaries, it's wild out there.
  - coreymaass 11y ago
    I actually got a lot better response, in that my opinion was valued higher. Compared to being considered a mere code monkey.
chris_hawk 11y ago
This is important, and IMO it's the thing that most freelancers neglect. They freelance the same way they did their last W2 job - waiting for the boss to tell them what to do. Freelancing requires a whole 'nother type of thinking and self-accountability. It's one of the most common things I end up mentoring freelancers on.

imaginenore 11y ago

Why not outsource and pocket the difference?

s73v3r 11y ago
Because part of the reason you might not want to take the job would be because of the people you'd have to work with.
- chris_hawk 11y ago
  Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Very astute, s73v3r. Client projects can be more like marriages than most freelancer are aware of, or would want to admit if they were.

Udo 11y ago

Being mainly a web programmer, I get a lot of very bogus inquiries (like re-implementing multi-million dollar websites in a day) and requests from companies doing projects that look very very painful if not outright doomed. I tried several ways of letting these people down gently, and only one actually works in all cases - even though the turn-down email is often a bit of a lie, sorry to say. The problem with the whole "I don't think this is a good fit" angle is project owners will then try to convince you why it should be an excellent fit, and they're often not wrong. If you advertise yourself as, say, a full-stack web app developer, it's difficult turning down someone asking you to help out on a generic web app. The second thing I tried is reasoning with people by letting them know why I personally think the project is a bad idea, or is not salvageable. Unsurprisingly, it's almost impossible to do this without insulting them, or without inviting responses like "well, then maybe you're just too incompetent for this". So the only thing that actually works in my experience is: "sorry, I'm fully booked at the moment, so I can't take this on". The beauty of this approach, even though I recognize it's morally questionable, is that it's an entirely realistic reason. In fact, it's the exact same response I send out when I am indeed fully booked. You leave that person behind with a neutral impression, and they still feel good about their project (which is important because I could be very wrong in my judgement of it).

chris_hawk 11y ago
Udo, that's not a bad approach, and I've used it myself. But I always felt bad for outright lying. At least by saying the project is a bad fit, I can say I'm being honest. Now that I've said this, I'm sure I'll end telling someone "uh...I'm all booked up" before the week is out. :) That said, IMO the word "No" is a full sentence, and when clients do as you describe, trying to forcefully argue why it should be a good fit, I simply hold to my original rejection and don't participate in that discussion. They may want very badly to initiate a game of tug-o-war, but unless I agree to pull on the other end of that rope, it's not happening. :) I agree 100% with you about the pitfalls of giving a personal critique of why the project is a bad fit/poor idea/not salvageable. That's just bad news. Also, those bogus inquiries you mention? OMG BANE OF A FREELANCERS EXISTENCE. Not a single week goes by where I don't have an interaction like this: Small Biz Owner: "I have an app idea!" Me: "Of course you do." Small Biz Owner: "You have to sign an NDA before I'll tell you!" Me: "Straight-up 'no'." Small Biz Owner: "OK, then...my idea is 'Twitter, but for law enforcement officers'! And they have to pay for it! It's GUARANTEED to make millions!" Me: "OK, we can build & launch it for $10k." Small Biz Owner: "What?!? That...ten THOUSAND? That's preposterous!" Me: "It's guaranteed to make millions, right?" Small Biz Owner" "Yeah, but...can't you do it for equity?" Me: "Get out of my office." (note: the above exchange has been hyperbolized for comedic effect)

sandworm101 11y ago

You think it's bad in tech, try putting 'legal' or 'attorney' into you profile. "I need a TOS document for a social media website that is binding in all jurisdictions. 50$" or.. "Our app needs a privacy policy that will protect us from lawsuit in China and Europe. 100$" I don't turn them down anymore. Rather, I unless I have an ethical duty I don't respond. It always ends in an ugly argument.

chris_hawk 11y ago
You know, my first career aspiration was to be an attorney. Seriously. And now I learn that I didn't even dodge a bullet by becoming a developer instead? Heartbreaking. :)