4 ms·

For the record, your boss there is a psychopath, which means he's physically incapable of feeling remorse or guilt, and has no conscience. That's why he was ab

For the record, your boss there is a psychopath, which means he's physically incapable of feeling remorse or guilt, and has no conscience. That's why he was able and willing to screw you over like that. Here's a brief overview: http://www.sociopathworld.com/p/portrait-of-sociopath.html http://www.sociopathworld.com/p/portrait-of-sociopath.html .. but the rabbit hole goes pretty fucking deep. While I sympathize with your situation, it serves as a good reminder to others that you should put off having kids until you're financially secure. On a more positive note, just "fake it till you make it", and everything will be alright. There are plenty of dev jobs out there.

fsloth 11y ago
Remote diagnosis of people is not advisable. It's good to be aware of these facts, sure. Reading a one sided three paragraph description is not sufficient evidence.
- HiYaBarbie 11y ago
  One central reason for why psychopaths are having such a great time in the world is that we keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. In general, it's good to be "rigorous", but in this case, it's not.
  - fsloth 11y ago
    I'm not comfortable in general about the idea of labeling people based on their neurological makeup, unless one is in a therapeutic/psychiatric setting. In a relationship or work setting, people should be mainly judged by their actions. Hurtful things should not be ignored and people should be made responsible for their actions. I agree it's good to be aware of typical pathological personality types so people who end up in relationships with them have some framework to work with their problems and even identify a bad case and leave. Sure, taking advantage of people is a thing that comes easily to psychopaths. But there are lots of other personality disorders and ways to act like one. Was the CEO actually lying or just trying to squirm out of an emotionally uncomfortable position for as long as possible? The situation sucks for the OP and there are absolutely horrible employers, even psychopaths out there - but really, there's not enough data to make those claims even if you are an experienced therapist or a psychiatrist.
    - HiYaBarbie 11y ago
      > I'm not comfortable in general about the idea of labeling people based on their neurological makeup, unless one is in a therapeutic/psychiatric setting. The setting you're in has no bearing on whether people actually differ greatly based on their neurological makeup, though, so I don't see how that matters. We're not on the same page here, but that's to be expected, even if you're actually not a psychopath yourself. But what the world really needs to know is that because the difference between humans and psychopaths is so counter-intuitively vast, even seemingly small things are strong signs that someone is a psychopath. For example, if someone keeps talking over you, he's probably a psychopath. Because he has no respect for you as a human being, he'll just casually interrupt you whenever he feels like saying something. An actual human being wouldn't do that, because he naturally respects you as another human being.
      - fsloth 11y ago
        Psychopathy is a medical definition in a psychiatric handbook with specific clinical guidelines for diagnosis (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy). You can't tell that someone is a psychopath without having actual psychiatric credentials and actually performing diagnostics on the patient. "For example, if someone keeps talking over you, he's probably a psychopath." I'm pretty sure that it does not suffice as evidence. You're focusing on the wrong thing - on the specific action and not on the feeling it generates. A non professional individual seldom has enough experience on personality disorders to tell what exactly is wrong. This means collecting anecdotal evidence has little value unless one knows the subject really intimately. But one can trust ones feelings. The key to identifying difficult people is first realizing that the interactions with the person leave you mostly feeling worse. Not in a single interaction, mind you, but over time. That is probably a good time to read a "how to deal with difficult people" guidebook and assess ones situation. The diagnostics part should be left to professionals.
        HiYaBarbie 11y ago
        > The key to identifying difficult people is first realizing that the interactions with the person leave you mostly feeling worse. But you're not a psychiatric professional so how could you possibly identify "difficult people" like that? :p Even if it happens over and over again with some specific individual, you're still not in a position to conclude anything based on that, because you lack psychiatric credentials!

fsloth 11y ago

Remote diagnosis of people is not advisable. It's good to be aware of these facts, sure. Reading a one sided three paragraph description is not sufficient evidence.

HiYaBarbie 11y ago
One central reason for why psychopaths are having such a great time in the world is that we keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. In general, it's good to be "rigorous", but in this case, it's not.
- fsloth 11y ago
  I'm not comfortable in general about the idea of labeling people based on their neurological makeup, unless one is in a therapeutic/psychiatric setting. In a relationship or work setting, people should be mainly judged by their actions. Hurtful things should not be ignored and people should be made responsible for their actions. I agree it's good to be aware of typical pathological personality types so people who end up in relationships with them have some framework to work with their problems and even identify a bad case and leave. Sure, taking advantage of people is a thing that comes easily to psychopaths. But there are lots of other personality disorders and ways to act like one. Was the CEO actually lying or just trying to squirm out of an emotionally uncomfortable position for as long as possible? The situation sucks for the OP and there are absolutely horrible employers, even psychopaths out there - but really, there's not enough data to make those claims even if you are an experienced therapist or a psychiatrist.
  - HiYaBarbie 11y ago
    > I'm not comfortable in general about the idea of labeling people based on their neurological makeup, unless one is in a therapeutic/psychiatric setting. The setting you're in has no bearing on whether people actually differ greatly based on their neurological makeup, though, so I don't see how that matters. We're not on the same page here, but that's to be expected, even if you're actually not a psychopath yourself. But what the world really needs to know is that because the difference between humans and psychopaths is so counter-intuitively vast, even seemingly small things are strong signs that someone is a psychopath. For example, if someone keeps talking over you, he's probably a psychopath. Because he has no respect for you as a human being, he'll just casually interrupt you whenever he feels like saying something. An actual human being wouldn't do that, because he naturally respects you as another human being.
    - fsloth 11y ago
      Psychopathy is a medical definition in a psychiatric handbook with specific clinical guidelines for diagnosis (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy). You can't tell that someone is a psychopath without having actual psychiatric credentials and actually performing diagnostics on the patient. "For example, if someone keeps talking over you, he's probably a psychopath." I'm pretty sure that it does not suffice as evidence. You're focusing on the wrong thing - on the specific action and not on the feeling it generates. A non professional individual seldom has enough experience on personality disorders to tell what exactly is wrong. This means collecting anecdotal evidence has little value unless one knows the subject really intimately. But one can trust ones feelings. The key to identifying difficult people is first realizing that the interactions with the person leave you mostly feeling worse. Not in a single interaction, mind you, but over time. That is probably a good time to read a "how to deal with difficult people" guidebook and assess ones situation. The diagnostics part should be left to professionals.
      - HiYaBarbie 11y ago
        > The key to identifying difficult people is first realizing that the interactions with the person leave you mostly feeling worse. But you're not a psychiatric professional so how could you possibly identify "difficult people" like that? :p Even if it happens over and over again with some specific individual, you're still not in a position to conclude anything based on that, because you lack psychiatric credentials!