4 ms·

Thanks guys. This is my first stab at writing a tv script, and I'm open to feedback or ideas for future 'episodes'.

mentos 11y ago
I've been waiting for a show to embrace the crowd sourcing of writing. I imagine a reddit thread with hundreds of ideas/plot lines/debate drawn out for an official writer to "pull" into the show. What are your thoughts on that?
- blakeross 11y ago
  It's a great idea. To be fair, there's plenty of this happening already for most shows (check their subreddits, etc). I think what's a little different here is actually writing it out as a script. I'm intrigued by the idea of writing a full season of Silicon Valley, but I'd also like the challenge of writing for different kinds of shows. I may write a Rick and Morty script next to see what that's like.
- blakeross 11y ago
  Oh, I misread your comment, I think. You're talking about the showrunners themselves incorporating ideas from the community, right? That would be great, although unfortunately Hollywood is so concerned about lawsuits that show staffs aren't even allowed to read scripts for their own shows. For example, the Silicon Valley staff isn't allowed to read this script; if I wanted to apply for a job there, I'd have to write a script for a different show and send that in.
  - mentos 11y ago
    Yea, are there any examples of a show like SV crowd sourcing content for it? I know that MythBusters has crowd sourced episode ideas: https://www.reddit.com/r/mythbusters/comments/3cfn7r/suggest_a_myth_or_item_to_blow_up_for_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/mythbusters/comments/3cfn7r/suggest... Top comment from Adam Savage: "You guys are submitting great ideas. We should have done this a long time ago! Keep your ideas of things to blow up coming too!" But I don't know of any shows with a narrative doing this? Would love to see SV do the same for 1 episode (they could get really meta with it) Sad to hear there are legal barriers preventing this. I imagine that a simple "sign this release before submitting your work" still leaves room for lawsuits?
    - jedberg 11y ago
      Star Trek TNG accepted unsolicited scripts. Not exactly crowd sourced, but at least they took outside scripts.
  - ziedaniel1 11y ago
    What if you released the script under a permissive license? (Contrary to ericjang's suggestion :) ) Would this eliminate the risk of a lawsuit?
ericjang 11y ago
I thought the script was well-paced and hilarious! The comparison between open-source projects and tech companies was great, and I liked the "A beat as everyone contemplates mankind" For the irony, you should release your script under a non-permissive license.
willstepp 11y ago
Really funny, this feels like a real episode. Good job.
maxwin 11y ago
Wow, you are great at this. I really enjoy reading it.
j_s 11y ago
Is this enough material for an entire episode? I'm curious what your process was for managing how much material to create.
- blakeross 11y ago
  The honest answer is that I have no idea. My process here was, I was on vacation in Big Sur and started jotting down things I thought would be funny for a Silicon Valley episode. When I got home, I downloaded a trial version of Scrivener and took about two days dumping those ideas into a script. Originally the two subplots were entirely separate, and then I went on a walk and thought of a way to combine them at the end. The script happened to come to 31 pages, which is about right for a 22-minute sitcom, so I just called it a day. It was not a very deliberative process in terms of how much material to include in one episode.
firebones 11y ago
Awesome, and outstanding work! Very, very funny. I'd love to see what their team of writers could do with this, because it seems very close and would only get better. Feedback: the only parts that seemed a little stilted and flat were around the licenses, but the payoff at the end made up for the setup. I'm having a hard time describing what I mean. About 85% of SV's humor comes from punching up at the egos, the money, the hubris, the skewed reality of a self-referential cloistered environment. About 15% is more gentle, knowing jabs at the characteristics that Richard and the engineers embody (social awkwardness, lack of skills necessary to survive in this environment, the monomaniacal pursuit of the right way of doing things). The early license jokes seem to be more punching down--I picture all those licenses are earnest one-offs written by devs in their garages, and it's punching at their earnestness. When SV takes shots at individuals making IP, it's almost always because the founders are incompetent opportunists with bad ideas. Licenses can be bad, but it's better if they're institutionally bad. It might benefit if the licenses are even more over the top, or are tied to entities or situations that are more mockable from a punch up standpoint. Like cynical open source licenses around software for mundane consumer hardware like refrigerators or blenders or a Furby which could create civil suit exposure for use cases people would normally do. Perhaps a bartender mixing a Raviga actually violates a Vitamix open source license. At his office, they tell the lawyer what they're trying to do--he cites a similar license he wrote for a Kickstarted pocket blender startup--Jian Yang tackled at the end when he brings the Ravigas back (by the kickstarter'd founder who was invited to the birthday party).
laxatives 11y ago
Wow I honestly expected this to be cringe-worthy, but that was hilarious. I thing I would say is that every character is almost a caricature of themselves (Richard is meek, Erlich is an egotistical idiot, Dinesh and Gilfoyle are snarky nerds, etc), but I guess thats inevitable after the first couple seasons.
37prime 11y ago
Just don’t be Dan Lyon…… ;-) One of the Season 2 Main Casts is a good friend of mine. I can you that you wrote a line or two for the character.
martin-adams 11y ago
Loved every minute of it. The flow and humour seem spot of if you ask me. It's been a real enjoyable read while we wait for S3. The only thing I felt that was a little out of place was the reference to Google and middle management (p17), but I wondered if that should have been Hooli. I love how in the interview on TC you say (in reference to AOL): >> BR: I’m honestly amazed they’re still around. You did realise that TC is owned by AOL when you said that right? No wonder the interview seemed to pass over that comment :)
- blakeross 11y ago
  I actually completely forgot that TC is owned by AOL during that interview, and you're the first person to bring it to my attention. Thanks for the laugh.

I've been waiting for a show to embrace the crowd sourcing of writing. I imagine a reddit thread with hundreds of ideas/plot lines/debate drawn out for an official writer to "pull" into the show. What are your thoughts on that?

blakeross 11y ago
It's a great idea. To be fair, there's plenty of this happening already for most shows (check their subreddits, etc). I think what's a little different here is actually writing it out as a script. I'm intrigued by the idea of writing a full season of Silicon Valley, but I'd also like the challenge of writing for different kinds of shows. I may write a Rick and Morty script next to see what that's like.
blakeross 11y ago
Oh, I misread your comment, I think. You're talking about the showrunners themselves incorporating ideas from the community, right? That would be great, although unfortunately Hollywood is so concerned about lawsuits that show staffs aren't even allowed to read scripts for their own shows. For example, the Silicon Valley staff isn't allowed to read this script; if I wanted to apply for a job there, I'd have to write a script for a different show and send that in.
- mentos 11y ago
  Yea, are there any examples of a show like SV crowd sourcing content for it? I know that MythBusters has crowd sourced episode ideas: https://www.reddit.com/r/mythbusters/comments/3cfn7r/suggest_a_myth_or_item_to_blow_up_for_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/mythbusters/comments/3cfn7r/suggest... Top comment from Adam Savage: "You guys are submitting great ideas. We should have done this a long time ago! Keep your ideas of things to blow up coming too!" But I don't know of any shows with a narrative doing this? Would love to see SV do the same for 1 episode (they could get really meta with it) Sad to hear there are legal barriers preventing this. I imagine that a simple "sign this release before submitting your work" still leaves room for lawsuits?
  - jedberg 11y ago
    Star Trek TNG accepted unsolicited scripts. Not exactly crowd sourced, but at least they took outside scripts.
- ziedaniel1 11y ago
  What if you released the script under a permissive license? (Contrary to ericjang's suggestion :) ) Would this eliminate the risk of a lawsuit?

ericjang 11y ago

I thought the script was well-paced and hilarious! The comparison between open-source projects and tech companies was great, and I liked the "A beat as everyone contemplates mankind" For the irony, you should release your script under a non-permissive license.

willstepp 11y ago

Really funny, this feels like a real episode. Good job.

maxwin 11y ago

Wow, you are great at this. I really enjoy reading it.

j_s 11y ago

Is this enough material for an entire episode? I'm curious what your process was for managing how much material to create.

blakeross 11y ago
The honest answer is that I have no idea. My process here was, I was on vacation in Big Sur and started jotting down things I thought would be funny for a Silicon Valley episode. When I got home, I downloaded a trial version of Scrivener and took about two days dumping those ideas into a script. Originally the two subplots were entirely separate, and then I went on a walk and thought of a way to combine them at the end. The script happened to come to 31 pages, which is about right for a 22-minute sitcom, so I just called it a day. It was not a very deliberative process in terms of how much material to include in one episode.

firebones 11y ago

Awesome, and outstanding work! Very, very funny. I'd love to see what their team of writers could do with this, because it seems very close and would only get better. Feedback: the only parts that seemed a little stilted and flat were around the licenses, but the payoff at the end made up for the setup. I'm having a hard time describing what I mean. About 85% of SV's humor comes from punching up at the egos, the money, the hubris, the skewed reality of a self-referential cloistered environment. About 15% is more gentle, knowing jabs at the characteristics that Richard and the engineers embody (social awkwardness, lack of skills necessary to survive in this environment, the monomaniacal pursuit of the right way of doing things). The early license jokes seem to be more punching down--I picture all those licenses are earnest one-offs written by devs in their garages, and it's punching at their earnestness. When SV takes shots at individuals making IP, it's almost always because the founders are incompetent opportunists with bad ideas. Licenses can be bad, but it's better if they're institutionally bad. It might benefit if the licenses are even more over the top, or are tied to entities or situations that are more mockable from a punch up standpoint. Like cynical open source licenses around software for mundane consumer hardware like refrigerators or blenders or a Furby which could create civil suit exposure for use cases people would normally do. Perhaps a bartender mixing a Raviga actually violates a Vitamix open source license. At his office, they tell the lawyer what they're trying to do--he cites a similar license he wrote for a Kickstarted pocket blender startup--Jian Yang tackled at the end when he brings the Ravigas back (by the kickstarter'd founder who was invited to the birthday party).

laxatives 11y ago

Wow I honestly expected this to be cringe-worthy, but that was hilarious. I thing I would say is that every character is almost a caricature of themselves (Richard is meek, Erlich is an egotistical idiot, Dinesh and Gilfoyle are snarky nerds, etc), but I guess thats inevitable after the first couple seasons.

37prime 11y ago

Just don’t be Dan Lyon…… ;-) One of the Season 2 Main Casts is a good friend of mine. I can you that you wrote a line or two for the character.

martin-adams 11y ago

Loved every minute of it. The flow and humour seem spot of if you ask me. It's been a real enjoyable read while we wait for S3. The only thing I felt that was a little out of place was the reference to Google and middle management (p17), but I wondered if that should have been Hooli. I love how in the interview on TC you say (in reference to AOL): >> BR: I’m honestly amazed they’re still around. You did realise that TC is owned by AOL when you said that right? No wonder the interview seemed to pass over that comment :)

blakeross 11y ago
I actually completely forgot that TC is owned by AOL during that interview, and you're the first person to bring it to my attention. Thanks for the laugh.