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Ah, this rang so many bells. My ex of ten years ago drank huge amounts and was in utter denial about there even being a possibility of a problem. I used to have

Ah, this rang so many bells. My ex of ten years ago drank huge amounts and was in utter denial about there even being a possibility of a problem. I used to have to go out and find her, usually asleep in an alley, or passed out in a bar's toilets - the worst occasion was when she threw a brick at me, as I had come to pry her away from a bar, and the recoil sent her tumbling into the Thames, in December - fished her out - and the next morning she was convinced I had pushed her in. Stabbed me with a stiletto heel a few months later, because I was trying to stop her hurling our furniture from a fifth story window. Ultimately we broke up as it's remarkably easy to bamboozle a drunk into admitting that yes, they have cheated on you dozens of times with dozens of men. This woman is a high court judge now. As far as I can tell, most barristers and judges are full blown alcoholics. For some reason I loved her - probably in the same way as I love my three legged cat - broken, piteous things, both. I suppose the point of where I'm going is that the only person who can rescue you is yourself. I tried for far too long for both of our sakes.

hammock 11y ago
That story would make a brilliant song.
dylanz 11y ago
Man, what a chapter of your life. I've had something similar, and it's amazing to what extreme trials and tribulations you'll go through with someone during a relationship. I like to think we learn a lot from these experiences, so maybe the three legged cats are there for a reason.
- madaxe_again 11y ago
  It was heartbreaking - both because she betrayed me, but moreso because I realised that I was no small part of what was making her worse - she was dashing herself to pieces between the guilt she felt over her trespasses and the righteous indignation she felt at me trying to help her... I've not spoken with her in a decade, I hope she's at least found a way of living with her demons - but as I said, drinking is a huge part of the legal professional culture, so as long as she's inured in that world, I don't know what hope there is. Either way, it's her life. I guess the main thing I learned is that kindness can kill, be careful how you apply it.

hammock 11y ago

That story would make a brilliant song.

dylanz 11y ago

Man, what a chapter of your life. I've had something similar, and it's amazing to what extreme trials and tribulations you'll go through with someone during a relationship. I like to think we learn a lot from these experiences, so maybe the three legged cats are there for a reason.

madaxe_again 11y ago
It was heartbreaking - both because she betrayed me, but moreso because I realised that I was no small part of what was making her worse - she was dashing herself to pieces between the guilt she felt over her trespasses and the righteous indignation she felt at me trying to help her... I've not spoken with her in a decade, I hope she's at least found a way of living with her demons - but as I said, drinking is a huge part of the legal professional culture, so as long as she's inured in that world, I don't know what hope there is. Either way, it's her life. I guess the main thing I learned is that kindness can kill, be careful how you apply it.