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> I have always got advice that be confident. This is what you need to focus on. You need to be confident to sell. We are always selling. You had to sell to la
by gexla 11y ago
> I have always got advice that be confident.
This is what you need to focus on. You need to be confident to sell. We are always selling. You had to sell to land your job, maybe you can look at what you did right there and use that as something to build on.
> Despite trying multiple times and many many changes I still feel like I never get a girls attention.
None of us do.
> I go on date once in a while but I never had second date.
Here is your problem. Dating is a numbers game. The more attempts you make, the more you are going to connect. But also, the more confident you will get, the more natural it will feel and generally the better you will get.
As with sales, if you aren't getting many opportunities, then you need to find them, create them and generally do whatever you can to line up more of them. That means you need to make changes from what you are currently doing. Make a list of changes you can make (activities, meetups, hobbies) and hit the pavement. The facetime you are getting with opportunities is your main metric (at least for the start) - if you are growing this, then you are well on your way.
As with sales, you can either wait for sales to come to you and get down on yourself when you aren't closing. Or you can get out and aggressively push your "product." Who wins in this scenario? You have to grow thick skin. You can't obtain happiness without experiencing the pain of failure. Making a sale and getting rejected are two sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other. If you can't hang with the negative side, then you don't deserve the positive.
Selling in this case is just weaving a story and convincing people to listen. That's the first win. Attention is scarce and valuable. If you can hold someones attention, then you are winning. Then you have to weave a possible alternate reality for that first date which is potentially better than all the other alternatives. A great story that your potential date could see herself being a part of.
You got this. We are all social creatures. People will be attracted to you just for that reason alone. You have friends. You landed a job. You have family who want to talk to you. There are others out there who would love to spend time with you. Put in the effort and show them WHY they want to spend time with you.