VOGUE has actually discovered this problem some time ago. They interviewed a feminist and asked her whether she feels sorry for guys not knowing what to do: Ope

VOGUE has actually discovered this problem some time ago. They interviewed a feminist and asked her whether she feels sorry for guys not knowing what to do: Opening the door for a girl is condescending and not opening it is rude. Similarly, a lot of people will advise you to be welcoming and offer your help to women hanging out in hacker spaces, but obviously that can be annoying (talking about annoyances, I'm somewhat tired of being called a white dude) if it happens every other day and they just don't need the help. Given that you can't guess somebody's skill level I really don't see any solution to this problem (to be perfectly honest: It doesn't sound like that big of a problem to me).