8 ms·

Dear %prospect_name%; I was in our recruiting DB the other day, and came across an old version of your résumé. I am very impressed with your background and thi

Dear %prospect_name%; I was in our recruiting DB the other day, and came across an old version of your résumé. I am very impressed with your background and think you might be a perfect fit for an opening that we have for a Senior ColdFusion Developer. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience regarding this exciting opportunity. Thank you. Sincerely, %recruiter_sig%

Kalium 11y ago
You're going to give me nightmares. I still get emails like this from a six-year-old version of my resume.
- ErikRogneby 11y ago
  Where is the national do-not-call list for clueless tech recruiters?
  - Kalium 11y ago
    I don't know. And half of appear to be operating out of India anyway, judging by the noise in the background on the lines.
  - rogerbinns 11y ago
    I maintain one at http://www.rogerbinns.com/blocked_recruiters.txt http://www.rogerbinns.com/blocked_recruiters.txt My resume has a "note to recruiters" attached. It is very clear if a recruiter has made any effort to read any of that. The clueless ones end up in the list above. http://www.rogerbinns.com/recruiters.html http://www.rogerbinns.com/recruiters.html
    - jacquesm 11y ago
      Priceless. That ought to be a thing like the 'GPL' or other licenses, a 'license to contact'. Consider making it available under CC so others can use it too and maybe the cumulative effect would be enough to make some real changes.
    - pronoiac 11y ago
      Oof, I recognize one of those, from an email today. I'd thought I was talking to an internal recruiter... Incidentally, you have some duplicates.
      - notfoss 11y ago
        > Incidentally, you have some duplicates. Nice catch. I guess that either he doesn't check for duplicates or he is doubly irritated by the duplicate ones :P
      - rogerbinns 11y ago
        Sometimes they are so egregious I have to add them twice! I'm guessing it occurred due to doing a batch update, and having multiple emails from the same spammer.
    - photosinensis 11y ago
      I might add pierpoint.com to that list. A few hours ago, I got an email from them asking me if I was interested in a job with my immediate previous employer (which is kind of a mu question to ask, as I'm so interested in that idea that I've actually secured a start date there in less than 2 weeks--let's just say that I really liked it there and regret leaving). If the guy there had done anything more than scrape LinkedIn for .NET stuff (which I can do and have done), he'd know that I would not need assistance in returning to $FORMER_EMPLOYER.
- tromobne8vb 11y ago
  >You're going to give me nightmares. I still get emails like this from a six-year-old version of my resume. The first time I read that, I thought it said "emails like they were from a six-year-old". Which is probably also true.
  - Kalium 11y ago
    The six-year-olds I know have a better grasp of grammar.
- arethuza 11y ago
  I'm now contemplating some kind of Markov-chain CV/resume generator that uses feedback from recruiters to evolve new versions of its output....
  - Kalium 11y ago
    This sounds like an interesting exercise. I'd love to see your results. Getting meaningful negative feedback from recruiters might be a neat trick.
- vonmoltke 11y ago
  I still get occasional emails like this about a ten-year-old, straight EE version of my resume. Someone out there really wants to hire me as a facilities engineer. :P
- MaysonL 11y ago
  And some HNers say that the right to be forgotten isn't justifiable.
- amyjess 11y ago
  I legally changed my name over a year ago, and I still get calls from recruiters once a week or so asking for my old name. Why? Because they have an old copy of my resume from before my name change. This also leads to me explaining that I don't work at my previous employer anymore and that I've found a new job that I love. They just don't give a shit about having up-to-date records. My entire name was changed: first, middle, and last, and my new name doesn't resemble my old one in the slightest. It's very awkward having to explain to them that the name they asked for isn't my legal name anymore (and I'm half-tempted to be glib and say "he's dead", but I won't because that could get me in big trouble if they believe it and it gets back to the authorities that I've been using my name change to fake my death). It's especially awkward, because it forces me to out myself to them as transgender, since my old name was unmistakeably male, and my new name is unmistakeably female. Hell, I'm very much out and proud, but it's just plain awkward to have to tell a recruiter over the phone when they're not expecting it and when it's my very first communication with them.
ebiester 11y ago
Dear %recruiter_sig% Thank you for your interest. I am currently accepting ColdFusion contracts at a base rate of $385/hr. Thanks, %prospect_name% (That should cover my therapy bills.)

Kalium 11y ago

You're going to give me nightmares. I still get emails like this from a six-year-old version of my resume.

ErikRogneby 11y ago
Where is the national do-not-call list for clueless tech recruiters?
- Kalium 11y ago
  I don't know. And half of appear to be operating out of India anyway, judging by the noise in the background on the lines.
- rogerbinns 11y ago
  I maintain one at http://www.rogerbinns.com/blocked_recruiters.txt http://www.rogerbinns.com/blocked_recruiters.txt My resume has a "note to recruiters" attached. It is very clear if a recruiter has made any effort to read any of that. The clueless ones end up in the list above. http://www.rogerbinns.com/recruiters.html http://www.rogerbinns.com/recruiters.html
  - jacquesm 11y ago
    Priceless. That ought to be a thing like the 'GPL' or other licenses, a 'license to contact'. Consider making it available under CC so others can use it too and maybe the cumulative effect would be enough to make some real changes.
  - pronoiac 11y ago
    Oof, I recognize one of those, from an email today. I'd thought I was talking to an internal recruiter... Incidentally, you have some duplicates.
    - notfoss 11y ago
      > Incidentally, you have some duplicates. Nice catch. I guess that either he doesn't check for duplicates or he is doubly irritated by the duplicate ones :P
    - rogerbinns 11y ago
      Sometimes they are so egregious I have to add them twice! I'm guessing it occurred due to doing a batch update, and having multiple emails from the same spammer.
  - photosinensis 11y ago
    I might add pierpoint.com to that list. A few hours ago, I got an email from them asking me if I was interested in a job with my immediate previous employer (which is kind of a mu question to ask, as I'm so interested in that idea that I've actually secured a start date there in less than 2 weeks--let's just say that I really liked it there and regret leaving). If the guy there had done anything more than scrape LinkedIn for .NET stuff (which I can do and have done), he'd know that I would not need assistance in returning to $FORMER_EMPLOYER.
tromobne8vb 11y ago
>You're going to give me nightmares. I still get emails like this from a six-year-old version of my resume. The first time I read that, I thought it said "emails like they were from a six-year-old". Which is probably also true.
- Kalium 11y ago
  The six-year-olds I know have a better grasp of grammar.
arethuza 11y ago
I'm now contemplating some kind of Markov-chain CV/resume generator that uses feedback from recruiters to evolve new versions of its output....
- Kalium 11y ago
  This sounds like an interesting exercise. I'd love to see your results. Getting meaningful negative feedback from recruiters might be a neat trick.
vonmoltke 11y ago
I still get occasional emails like this about a ten-year-old, straight EE version of my resume. Someone out there really wants to hire me as a facilities engineer. :P
MaysonL 11y ago
And some HNers say that the right to be forgotten isn't justifiable.
amyjess 11y ago
I legally changed my name over a year ago, and I still get calls from recruiters once a week or so asking for my old name. Why? Because they have an old copy of my resume from before my name change. This also leads to me explaining that I don't work at my previous employer anymore and that I've found a new job that I love. They just don't give a shit about having up-to-date records. My entire name was changed: first, middle, and last, and my new name doesn't resemble my old one in the slightest. It's very awkward having to explain to them that the name they asked for isn't my legal name anymore (and I'm half-tempted to be glib and say "he's dead", but I won't because that could get me in big trouble if they believe it and it gets back to the authorities that I've been using my name change to fake my death). It's especially awkward, because it forces me to out myself to them as transgender, since my old name was unmistakeably male, and my new name is unmistakeably female. Hell, I'm very much out and proud, but it's just plain awkward to have to tell a recruiter over the phone when they're not expecting it and when it's my very first communication with them.

ebiester 11y ago

Dear %recruiter_sig% Thank you for your interest. I am currently accepting ColdFusion contracts at a base rate of $385/hr. Thanks, %prospect_name% (That should cover my therapy bills.)