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Putting a question mark after a seemingly-accusatory statement doesn't make it a question. If you were genuinely curious, "what's your opinion on voting rights

Putting a question mark after a seemingly-accusatory statement doesn't make it a question. If you were genuinely curious, "what's your opinion on voting rights for convicted criminals?" would be a better way to ask.

baudehlo 11y ago
Sure, I could have asked more nicely, but when someone is seemingly ok with oppressing one part of society I would appreciate an explanation. It's surprising that (some/most?) Americans are ok with this situation, and yet understand that not giving women or minorities the vote was a huge deal.
- lotharbot 11y ago
  > "I would appreciate an explanation" Asking nicely makes it more likely that you will get one. People are much more likely to answer a question when it seems like you're interested in a genuine answer, than when it seems like you've already passed judgment and the question is a mere formality.
  - lsaferite 11y ago
    Should they bow before asking nicely as well? They were not asking in a pleasant manner, but they were also not being outright rude. Not every interaction has to be sunshine and lollipops. Passive-agressive outrage at the apparent lack of concern for the disenfranchisement of a fairly large population group seems... ok in the grand scheme. No name calling, no yelling, and no 'please sir, will you answer me this' is required.
    - lotharbot 11y ago
      I'm merely noting something learned from a lot of arguing on the internet -- if you "ask" in an accusatory way, or a passive-aggressive way, or a way that makes it seem as though you've intentionally hidden something in your question, people are less likely to give you a genuine response. People are naturally conflict-avoidant, and the way the above question was asked makes it sound like someone is itching for conflict. Even if the OP had a good answer, it can be exhausting to phrase such an answer in a way that defuses points of conflict for an already-hostile conversation partner. This advice parallels one of the Hacker News guidelines: "avoid gratuitous negativity". Asking questions in a gratuitously negative way doesn't usually make for good conversation.

baudehlo 11y ago

Sure, I could have asked more nicely, but when someone is seemingly ok with oppressing one part of society I would appreciate an explanation. It's surprising that (some/most?) Americans are ok with this situation, and yet understand that not giving women or minorities the vote was a huge deal.

lotharbot 11y ago
> "I would appreciate an explanation" Asking nicely makes it more likely that you will get one. People are much more likely to answer a question when it seems like you're interested in a genuine answer, than when it seems like you've already passed judgment and the question is a mere formality.
- lsaferite 11y ago
  Should they bow before asking nicely as well? They were not asking in a pleasant manner, but they were also not being outright rude. Not every interaction has to be sunshine and lollipops. Passive-agressive outrage at the apparent lack of concern for the disenfranchisement of a fairly large population group seems... ok in the grand scheme. No name calling, no yelling, and no 'please sir, will you answer me this' is required.
  - lotharbot 11y ago
    I'm merely noting something learned from a lot of arguing on the internet -- if you "ask" in an accusatory way, or a passive-aggressive way, or a way that makes it seem as though you've intentionally hidden something in your question, people are less likely to give you a genuine response. People are naturally conflict-avoidant, and the way the above question was asked makes it sound like someone is itching for conflict. Even if the OP had a good answer, it can be exhausting to phrase such an answer in a way that defuses points of conflict for an already-hostile conversation partner. This advice parallels one of the Hacker News guidelines: "avoid gratuitous negativity". Asking questions in a gratuitously negative way doesn't usually make for good conversation.