I don't see why (e) teaching scientists to be statistically literate so they don't abuse or misunderstand these tests, and/or (f) focusing on reproducible resul

I don't see why (e) teaching scientists to be statistically literate so they don't abuse or misunderstand these tests, and/or (f) focusing on reproducible results and shaming researchers with sloppy methodology, wouldn't work. The hypothesis test has known limitations, but it's not clear that we should blame null hypothesis tests for people mis-using them, when researchers untrained in stats are just as likely to mis-use any method you give them.