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Just because one is wealthy does not mean that all your problems will suddenly go away. Yes, you won't end up on the street because you can't pay your rent, but
by charlesdm 11y ago
Just because one is wealthy does not mean that all your problems will suddenly go away. Yes, you won't end up on the street because you can't pay your rent, but it does create a ton of new problems that can lead to isolation.
A few that come to mind, that I've noticed with wealthy friends:
1. Time. You'll probably have plenty. You're free. What do you do all day when your old friends are working? That probably means making new friends. But it can also lead to disconnects with old friends. Most people don't understand.
2. Ulterior motives of people. Imagine you meet a person - any person. Most relatively wealthy people will assume this person wants something from them. Guess what, people DO usually want something from them. This can lead to problems bonding and/or having relationships.
3. Investing and taxes: what if I invest badly and lose all my capital? Ok, so you invest in a property in Spain and a few years later sell it. You pay $x tax. For some silly reason the authorities don't agree, and want to levy additional tax x2. On top of that, your tax lawyer isn't great, and you need to go find a new one. It'll drag on for years, going through the courts.
etc etc
Many people would say, cry me a river. Obviously it's better to be wealthy than to be poor, but it's not all it's made out to be. No therapist is going to fix that.
Problems are problems, and I personally respect that everyone has their own set of issues in life. Wealth can be a burden.
- crdoconnor 11y ago>Just because one is wealthy does not mean that all your problems will suddenly go away. Nope. It does mean that you lose the right to complain though.
- wordbank 11y ago> Nope. It does mean that you lose the right to complain though. Yeah, let's isolate rich persons even more instead of helping them to find their way together with us. That's for sure will lead to a better world where rich can connect with others and share their fortunes for a common good. /s
- shkkmo 11y agoYou can complain, just don't blame the money. Or if you do, get rid of it.
- libria 11y agoI think people find it difficult to empathize because there's a cake-and-eat-it-too problem here. He wants to enjoy his (well-deserved) wealth without the loneliness that comes with it. He can mitigate many of these problems instantly by giving up his fortune and 9 to 5'ing. Or buy a nightclub like Jamie Zawinski, or travel the world taking photos like Tom Anderson.
- cryoshon 11y agoThis is just another iteration of the timeless "people invent new problems when the old problems are taken care of" law of human nature. We're all subject to it, but most of us carry it well enough to know when to shut up. In this iteration, the rich complain that their former problems have been solved, but have been replaced by other problems as a result of solving those initial problems. It is a fallacy to assume that these new problems are of the same magnitude of the other problems, and they really should not be treated with the same set of thoughts. The problems of emotional awkwardness with newfound vast wealth are not the same magnitude as the problems of building a company, and those are not the same magnitude as overcoming past emotional abuse, or struggling to feed your family, or trying to avert emergently approaching death. See how I've captured several logs of magnitude here? The conflation of magnitude is what causes the negative reactions when rich people complain. They are complaining about things at the very top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. These are philosophical (academic/only relevant under very narrow circumstances) problems that are in all likelihood completely unsolvable by complaining to others. These are the kinds of problems that are solvable with critical introspection, discussion with close others, and discussion with professionals. You get no points for throwing yourself onto the pyre and wailing to the world-- there is tumblr for that, and it isn't a realistic shot at solving the problems. Anyways, a more direct response to your points: 1. I've been in this situation, and just ended it recently. There were no disconnects with old friends... I think you'd have to have shitty friends for this to be a problem. 2. Everyone already has ulterior motives and purposes for each other. Sometimes all you want from the other person is friendship, and if it's a mutual feeling, it's great. This is human nature-- everyone does want something from everyone else. The more you have, the more they want. 3. I'm not sure if this is a serious statement. This isn't a problem on most people's radars, and is really irrelevant because you mention that these people can pay others to deal with these problems for them. If the money is stressing you out, just ditch it... oh wait, you like it too much. Clam up and make do, or talk to a therapist-- one of the few people who will take this line of thought seriously. 4. Of course wealthy people can be miserable and wealth can be a burden, but the beauty of wealth is that you have far more resources to help you carry burdens. This means that when the wealth complain about their burden, the rest of us snort derisively-- it's as though they have forgotten that the weight on everyone else is heavier and more unwieldy.
- jfoster 11y agoAm I naive, or are these problems a degree easier to solve than problems of people who are not wealthy? Problem 1: Use your new-found time to work on projects. These could be new companies that grow your wealth, endeavours that seek to create a change that you care about, or doing things to help people that you care about. There are other alternatives, too. Joining investment groups. Taking holidays. Consulting. Problem 2: For chance meetings, I can see how this is a problem, but if you primarily meet new people through existing social circles, that might mitigate this effect a bit. I don't have this problem, but I have noticed that I've made lots of great friends through existing friends. Problem 3: Could you not hire someone (or a company) to manage this sort of thing? I realize plenty of oversight would still be prudent, but it should alleviate the stress of it somewhat. Diversity in investments should mitigate the risk of losing everything. Limiting investments to areas that are well understood might also be a good idea for avoiding tax surprises. I agree that wealthy people will definitely still have life problems, but I'm still not convinced it has to be these ones. Forms of social isolation (eg. imbalance that notch mentioned) seem much more plausible and nowhere near as easily remedied.
- pikeymick 11y agoI think it's hard for those without these problems to truly understand the weight of getting out from underneath them. For example from the outside it's easy to say how someone who is poor could do something to lift themselves out of that state, but this wouldn't account for all the things working against someone who is poor. Naive might be a strong word for it, but it's always easy to say someone else's problems are good problems to have, or they have it easier, but as long as we're putting them on a spectrum and assigning value to their experience, we're not accounting for the struggle itself. It's not the value of the struggle that matters, it's that we all have struggles, and being able to find support for when we are struggling makes a HUGE quality of life difference. So many people in today's world want to deny others this experience, "you don't/didn't have it that hard, what are you complaining about. Man Up. Stop being a pussy... You're rich, what's the problem..." etc
- cryoshon 11y agoNot all struggles are created equal. Some struggles (like Notch's) are actually problems that people wish they could have. He doesn't have it hard, he's just not creative enough to enjoy his new life. I guess it's unfortunate he feels so awful, but if he can't find something fun and fulfilling to do while sitting on a pile of money, he has absolutely no right to complain-- an entire world is sitting out there, waiting for him to engage with.
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]