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Beautiful post, thanks for the insights. The info that you only met single women is interesting. Do you suppose this may have been self-selected? Otherwise it

by nkurz 11y ago

Beautiful post, thanks for the insights. The info that you only met single women is interesting. Do you suppose this may have been self-selected? Otherwise it implies the number of real married women on the site was indeed vanishingly small. Adding a "post anonymously" checkbox instead of creating a throw away account may be worth pursuing, but it's hard to know if making anonymous posting easier would be a net positive for the site.

erroneousfunk 11y ago
AM is a great place for women to find anything from a sugar daddy to just someone who will pay for dinner. I'm sure there were a number of actual prostitutes on the site as well, but I personally know of one woman on it who was looking for guys to just take her out on the town, and if they happened to buy her stuff, that was cool too (which a lot of them were more than happy to do). If you're female, single, have a low-paying job, and don't want to be in a relationship, it seems like an obvious choice for some -- the guys are in a relationship, so it's easy to keep it uncomplicated. Please don't take this as an "all women are gold diggers" sort of thing. <sigh> But that may explain why there were a lot of single women.
am-user 11y ago
For me, there was a convenience-oriented self-selection process. Having an affair is hard. You have to have time, alibis, and "laundered" money (typically an unknown credit card, maybe wads of cash, etc). When it is two married people trying to meet up, the difficulty is much harder just from scheduling alone. Even in my case, it was a lot easier than most to find times to meet up, but I still can't spend more than a night or two per week out late without feeling like a crappy husband or father. I found it much easier to deal with single women on the site because I was constrained on when I could meet up, but they weren't. I think a good idea would be to have "verified-but-anonymized" posts tied to the amount of karma you have (just like downvotes). After building up some reputation, you could occasionally post an anonymized comment, and have it distinguished by the fact that it is done by an HN regular.

by nkurz 11y ago

erroneousfunk 11y ago

AM is a great place for women to find anything from a sugar daddy to just someone who will pay for dinner. I'm sure there were a number of actual prostitutes on the site as well, but I personally know of one woman on it who was looking for guys to just take her out on the town, and if they happened to buy her stuff, that was cool too (which a lot of them were more than happy to do). If you're female, single, have a low-paying job, and don't want to be in a relationship, it seems like an obvious choice for some -- the guys are in a relationship, so it's easy to keep it uncomplicated. Please don't take this as an "all women are gold diggers" sort of thing. <sigh> But that may explain why there were a lot of single women.

am-user 11y ago

For me, there was a convenience-oriented self-selection process. Having an affair is hard. You have to have time, alibis, and "laundered" money (typically an unknown credit card, maybe wads of cash, etc). When it is two married people trying to meet up, the difficulty is much harder just from scheduling alone. Even in my case, it was a lot easier than most to find times to meet up, but I still can't spend more than a night or two per week out late without feeling like a crappy husband or father. I found it much easier to deal with single women on the site because I was constrained on when I could meet up, but they weren't. I think a good idea would be to have "verified-but-anonymized" posts tied to the amount of karma you have (just like downvotes). After building up some reputation, you could occasionally post an anonymized comment, and have it distinguished by the fact that it is done by an HN regular.