4 ms·

Bullshit. Women use Tinder for sex, not to find a spouse. For some guys it seems hard to face the fact that many women just like sex, a lot. Source: several wom

Bullshit. Women use Tinder for sex, not to find a spouse. For some guys it seems hard to face the fact that many women just like sex, a lot. Source: several women I've talked to.

dvt 11y ago
Bingo. Mr. Birger fails to see the salient point here. Everyone knows what Tinder is. It's a hookup app. Want a serious relationship? Don't use Tinder and don't sleep with someone 30 minutes into getting to know them.
- tolmasky 11y ago
  This is an oversimplification of both men and women. THe truth is most people are looking for "I don't know" or "it depends", just like in real life. When most people see a girl and ask them out, it would be absurd to think it's as calculated as "for sure hookup" or "definitely to marry", it's just "this person seems worth getting to know". Tinder is one of the few apps that mirrors that reality by not asking you ridiculous things like "what are you looking for?" It changes all the time and will absolutely change for the right person. Same as in real life: plenty of long term relationships start in bars, and that's OK. We all go to bars, sometimes you meet the right person there. I am bewildered by why tinder is so hard to understand: it's essentially just a bar, a slightly better bar actually since you know everyone there is single.
  - dvt 11y ago
    No, it's not an oversimplification of anyone or anything. I will say your bar analogy is pretty good, though. If you go home with someone from a bar (that you met that night), the general expectation is that it won't be something serious. I mean, come on, it's not that hard to see the overarching point here. Even pop culture portrays it this way (see Knocked Up, Trainwreck, etc.).
    - tdkl 11y ago
      And general expectations overrule mutual agreements by two adults ? Let's stop expecting things and expressing them openly.
- halviti 11y ago
  I know several women that have used Tinder to get into serious relationships, as that was their goal from the beginning. I'm sure the vast majority use it for hookups, but you can't generalize everyone.
  - dvt 11y ago
    By definition a generalization is an average of.. everyone. On average, Tinder is used for hooking up way way more than it's used for serious relationships.
    - halviti 11y ago
      I was referring to the fact that there was no attempt to generalize or say "on average". The people I was responding to were saying "Women use Tinder for sex" (implying everyone), and "Everyone knows what Tinder is. It's a hookup app." (implying everyone) My comment was to point out that you can't say things like this without implying that 100% of people feel this way, which is not the case.
- KerrickStaley 11y ago
  Bullshit. Different people come into Tinder with different expectations.
  - dvt 11y ago
    I'm not sure what your point is here. That the sky is blue? Most men and women use Tinder for hooking up. It's my experience that even women that say they are interested in a "serious relationship" are actually quite interested in the opposite. Because there's probably some stigma associated with women simply enjoying casual sex.
lqdc13 11y ago
What about "for sex to find a spouse"?
- personlurking 11y ago
  Having lived in Brazil, this often happens there, though 'spouse' can just mean boyfriend in this case. The more I hear about hookup culture, the more I think the rest of the world is becoming like Brazil.
- CmonDev 11y ago
  Sleeping on the first few dates makes a perfect spouse material.
  - itsybitsycoder 11y ago
    It did for me... not that it was intentional. I'm guessing you meant to be sarcastic though.
konstruktor 11y ago
On a meta level, I find it worth noting that you, as somebody who talks about women as "women" gets quite different, and seemingly more honest, answers from them than the other poster who calls them "girls". It's almost as if treating people with respect mattered.

Bullshit. Women use Tinder for sex, not to find a spouse. For some guys it seems hard to face the fact that many women just like sex, a lot. Source: several women I've talked to.

dvt 11y ago

Bingo. Mr. Birger fails to see the salient point here. Everyone knows what Tinder is. It's a hookup app. Want a serious relationship? Don't use Tinder and don't sleep with someone 30 minutes into getting to know them.

tolmasky 11y ago
This is an oversimplification of both men and women. THe truth is most people are looking for "I don't know" or "it depends", just like in real life. When most people see a girl and ask them out, it would be absurd to think it's as calculated as "for sure hookup" or "definitely to marry", it's just "this person seems worth getting to know". Tinder is one of the few apps that mirrors that reality by not asking you ridiculous things like "what are you looking for?" It changes all the time and will absolutely change for the right person. Same as in real life: plenty of long term relationships start in bars, and that's OK. We all go to bars, sometimes you meet the right person there. I am bewildered by why tinder is so hard to understand: it's essentially just a bar, a slightly better bar actually since you know everyone there is single.
- dvt 11y ago
  No, it's not an oversimplification of anyone or anything. I will say your bar analogy is pretty good, though. If you go home with someone from a bar (that you met that night), the general expectation is that it won't be something serious. I mean, come on, it's not that hard to see the overarching point here. Even pop culture portrays it this way (see Knocked Up, Trainwreck, etc.).
  - tdkl 11y ago
    And general expectations overrule mutual agreements by two adults ? Let's stop expecting things and expressing them openly.
halviti 11y ago
I know several women that have used Tinder to get into serious relationships, as that was their goal from the beginning. I'm sure the vast majority use it for hookups, but you can't generalize everyone.
- dvt 11y ago
  By definition a generalization is an average of.. everyone. On average, Tinder is used for hooking up way way more than it's used for serious relationships.
  - halviti 11y ago
    I was referring to the fact that there was no attempt to generalize or say "on average". The people I was responding to were saying "Women use Tinder for sex" (implying everyone), and "Everyone knows what Tinder is. It's a hookup app." (implying everyone) My comment was to point out that you can't say things like this without implying that 100% of people feel this way, which is not the case.
KerrickStaley 11y ago
Bullshit. Different people come into Tinder with different expectations.
- dvt 11y ago
  I'm not sure what your point is here. That the sky is blue? Most men and women use Tinder for hooking up. It's my experience that even women that say they are interested in a "serious relationship" are actually quite interested in the opposite. Because there's probably some stigma associated with women simply enjoying casual sex.

lqdc13 11y ago

What about "for sex to find a spouse"?

personlurking 11y ago
Having lived in Brazil, this often happens there, though 'spouse' can just mean boyfriend in this case. The more I hear about hookup culture, the more I think the rest of the world is becoming like Brazil.
CmonDev 11y ago
Sleeping on the first few dates makes a perfect spouse material.
- itsybitsycoder 11y ago
  It did for me... not that it was intentional. I'm guessing you meant to be sarcastic though.

konstruktor 11y ago

On a meta level, I find it worth noting that you, as somebody who talks about women as "women" gets quite different, and seemingly more honest, answers from them than the other poster who calls them "girls". It's almost as if treating people with respect mattered.