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Learn to trust people, especially your significant other. Their use habits have nothing to do with your relationship. Demanding that someone change gets ugly

by tcdent 11y ago

Learn to trust people, especially your significant other. Their use habits have nothing to do with your relationship. Demanding that someone change gets ugly quick, especially when you single them out as a unique case. Why don't those standards apply to everyone else? Be honest about the role of fear in your rationalization. Sounds like there's a lot you can learn about living a more balanced life from this person. Unexpected events will always happen, technology won't change that, and blaming their occurrence (partially or totally) on a lack of communication is just not right.

kafkaesque 11y ago
There are a lot of assumptions you are making. My significant other and I are a lot alike. We've happily accepted what it takes to live with another person, as two people who were used to doing stuff on their own and living alone. She doesn't speak English well, and learning her language has been fascinating! Thankfully, we are the happiest we've ever been. I think knowing someone who is from a totally different culture from you puts things in perspective and the dynamic is totally different from being with someone from your own culture. We often read things in Western publications, and laugh and say, "Wow, this is so American/Canadian/Western". It's funny how everything we read in English totally never even considers that there might be another "normal". Even in scientific publications. With regard to those standards applying to everyone, sorry, I'm not Christian and don't believe we should love everyone and give everyone our undivided attention. This, of course, is an ideological difference. My time is important. However, if I do choose to give you my undivided attention, I will listen to you very carefully. Hope you're doing well.
- tcdent 11y ago
  Personally, I don't identify with any titles, and that's where my compassion for other situations comes from. (People do try though; just the other day someone attempted to label my image as "Amish surfer"...) My point being: it's irrelevant wether someone is "Western", Christian or otherwise; all that is important is their desire. Language is often inadequate for expressing these motivations (even moreso when there is a barrier). Respect others as capable, intelligent humans who have experienced just as much circumstance as you, and allow them to make their own decisions. Their conclusions will likely be different from your own, but that shouldn't be offensive. Everyone is unique.

by tcdent 11y ago

kafkaesque 11y ago

There are a lot of assumptions you are making. My significant other and I are a lot alike. We've happily accepted what it takes to live with another person, as two people who were used to doing stuff on their own and living alone. She doesn't speak English well, and learning her language has been fascinating! Thankfully, we are the happiest we've ever been. I think knowing someone who is from a totally different culture from you puts things in perspective and the dynamic is totally different from being with someone from your own culture. We often read things in Western publications, and laugh and say, "Wow, this is so American/Canadian/Western". It's funny how everything we read in English totally never even considers that there might be another "normal". Even in scientific publications. With regard to those standards applying to everyone, sorry, I'm not Christian and don't believe we should love everyone and give everyone our undivided attention. This, of course, is an ideological difference. My time is important. However, if I do choose to give you my undivided attention, I will listen to you very carefully. Hope you're doing well.

tcdent 11y ago
Personally, I don't identify with any titles, and that's where my compassion for other situations comes from. (People do try though; just the other day someone attempted to label my image as "Amish surfer"...) My point being: it's irrelevant wether someone is "Western", Christian or otherwise; all that is important is their desire. Language is often inadequate for expressing these motivations (even moreso when there is a barrier). Respect others as capable, intelligent humans who have experienced just as much circumstance as you, and allow them to make their own decisions. Their conclusions will likely be different from your own, but that shouldn't be offensive. Everyone is unique.