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I'm obviously a dick because I already sent automated messages to relatives of people in the hack indicating to them that they were potentially cheated on. Per

by dgfv1 11y ago

I'm obviously a dick because I already sent automated messages to relatives of people in the hack indicating to them that they were potentially cheated on. Personally I would want to know so I share that information.

harryf 11y ago
Good thing you did it anonymously. We wouldn't want you to have to face any consequences for your actions. Let's hope you're not responsible for something like this http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-dad-kills-family-father-day-murder-suicide-article-1.2267365 http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-dad-kills-fami...
- dgfv1 11y ago
  I'm sorry what does that article have anything to do with anything. And if some wacko kills his family and himself how is that in any way my fault?
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - simoncion 11y ago
    How was harryf in any way saying that the incident in Utah was your fault? Please take the time to read comments more closely before replying. If you find yourself angry at something, draft a comment, wait a few minutes, and re-read both the draft and the comment to which you are replying before posting. :)
  - harryf 11y ago
    You took it upon yourself to interfere with other people's relationships and families. Whatever moral reasons you feel justify your anonymous intervention, when you start fucking with other people's relationships and families you have no idea of what's going to happen. A struggling young couple with a small child - the type of "hint" you provided might tip one or both parents over the edge... You have no idea. In short; IMO dick move
    - Lawtonfogle 11y ago
      Does this not apply to anything you send? Say you send a message that one spouse is involved in some illegal behavior. What if reporting child abuse results in the same outcome? The whole 'you could push them over the edge' can be applied to quite a lot of warnings to give a parent.
  - mryan 11y ago
    If "some wacko" killed his family and himself as a result of your disclosure, would you feel any culpability at all? Of course, you didn't force them to join the site, but you did make the decision to disclose the information. What if someone joined the site before they were married, but never contacted anyone? Their spouse receives your email, and confronts them. They are unable to convince their spouse that they never cheated, and the marriage comes to an end. Do you feel culpability in this case?
    - Asbostos 11y ago
      If you spouse divorces you for irrational and unfounded reasons then anything else could trigger them too. You can't blame the messenger.
      - mryan 11y ago
        Agreed - at the end of the day, the decision to divorce comes from within the marriage. I'm not casting blame here - just curious about whether any scenario would lead him to feel culpable about spreading leaked information. IMHO it's a philosophically interesting topic with lots of gray areas.
- _pmf_ 11y ago
  > Let's hope you're not responsible Is the judge responsible if the delinquent hangs himself in prison?
  - FireBeyond 11y ago
    Well, funny you should say that, because in the Aaron Schwartz case, many, many comments here on HN claimed exactly that, that the judge, prosecutor, DA were all directly responsible for his suicide.
- tomjen3 11y ago
  That is going a bit too far - the same thing could happen if somebody told him because they saw the wife having sex in a cheap motel, or found out for any other reason, would you still think they were guilty then?
Absentinsomniac 11y ago
How would you even get relatives contact information automatically...
- dgfv1 11y ago
  The database contains full addresses, names. You can easily find who is cohabiting with them fairly reliably (near 100% if they live in a house) through a variety of services which list that information. All I can say is there's going to be a hell of a lot of blackmail. I'm sure there's already a group on IRC organizing blackmail. There's a lot of targets and it's very information rich.
  - outmore 11y ago
    Well Mr. Ashcroft you're right, it really isn't that hard to figure out who people are.
thanatropism 11y ago
Personally I wouldn't want to know. We have an actual agreement on this, me and my wife: try not to cheat, but if it happens, do everything to keep the other from knowing. What you don't know can't hurt you -- or at least that's the basis for our arrangement for monogamy between fallible humans. I've heard many arguments for and against it -- the point is that it's OUR arrangement, and YOU have nothing to do with it.
- coherentpony 11y ago
  >What you don't know can't hurt you Let's say your partner cheated on you and they didn't tell you. Let's also say the person they cheated with lied about having an STD. In this case, I claim that not knowing can not only damage your marriage but also damage your health.
jamiek88 11y ago
Shit stirring and gossip mongering disguised as a moral crusade. Nothing more nothing less. Be careful. We all have secrets.

by dgfv1 11y ago

harryf 11y ago

Good thing you did it anonymously. We wouldn't want you to have to face any consequences for your actions. Let's hope you're not responsible for something like this http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-dad-kills-family-father-day-murder-suicide-article-1.2267365 http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-dad-kills-fami...

dgfv1 11y ago
I'm sorry what does that article have anything to do with anything. And if some wacko kills his family and himself how is that in any way my fault?
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- simoncion 11y ago
  How was harryf in any way saying that the incident in Utah was your fault? Please take the time to read comments more closely before replying. If you find yourself angry at something, draft a comment, wait a few minutes, and re-read both the draft and the comment to which you are replying before posting. :)
- harryf 11y ago
  You took it upon yourself to interfere with other people's relationships and families. Whatever moral reasons you feel justify your anonymous intervention, when you start fucking with other people's relationships and families you have no idea of what's going to happen. A struggling young couple with a small child - the type of "hint" you provided might tip one or both parents over the edge... You have no idea. In short; IMO dick move
  - Lawtonfogle 11y ago
    Does this not apply to anything you send? Say you send a message that one spouse is involved in some illegal behavior. What if reporting child abuse results in the same outcome? The whole 'you could push them over the edge' can be applied to quite a lot of warnings to give a parent.
- mryan 11y ago
  If "some wacko" killed his family and himself as a result of your disclosure, would you feel any culpability at all? Of course, you didn't force them to join the site, but you did make the decision to disclose the information. What if someone joined the site before they were married, but never contacted anyone? Their spouse receives your email, and confronts them. They are unable to convince their spouse that they never cheated, and the marriage comes to an end. Do you feel culpability in this case?
  - Asbostos 11y ago
    If you spouse divorces you for irrational and unfounded reasons then anything else could trigger them too. You can't blame the messenger.
    - mryan 11y ago
      Agreed - at the end of the day, the decision to divorce comes from within the marriage. I'm not casting blame here - just curious about whether any scenario would lead him to feel culpable about spreading leaked information. IMHO it's a philosophically interesting topic with lots of gray areas.
_pmf_ 11y ago
> Let's hope you're not responsible Is the judge responsible if the delinquent hangs himself in prison?
- FireBeyond 11y ago
  Well, funny you should say that, because in the Aaron Schwartz case, many, many comments here on HN claimed exactly that, that the judge, prosecutor, DA were all directly responsible for his suicide.
tomjen3 11y ago
That is going a bit too far - the same thing could happen if somebody told him because they saw the wife having sex in a cheap motel, or found out for any other reason, would you still think they were guilty then?

Absentinsomniac 11y ago

How would you even get relatives contact information automatically...

dgfv1 11y ago
The database contains full addresses, names. You can easily find who is cohabiting with them fairly reliably (near 100% if they live in a house) through a variety of services which list that information. All I can say is there's going to be a hell of a lot of blackmail. I'm sure there's already a group on IRC organizing blackmail. There's a lot of targets and it's very information rich.
- outmore 11y ago
  Well Mr. Ashcroft you're right, it really isn't that hard to figure out who people are.

thanatropism 11y ago

Personally I wouldn't want to know. We have an actual agreement on this, me and my wife: try not to cheat, but if it happens, do everything to keep the other from knowing. What you don't know can't hurt you -- or at least that's the basis for our arrangement for monogamy between fallible humans. I've heard many arguments for and against it -- the point is that it's OUR arrangement, and YOU have nothing to do with it.

coherentpony 11y ago
>What you don't know can't hurt you Let's say your partner cheated on you and they didn't tell you. Let's also say the person they cheated with lied about having an STD. In this case, I claim that not knowing can not only damage your marriage but also damage your health.

jamiek88 11y ago

Shit stirring and gossip mongering disguised as a moral crusade. Nothing more nothing less. Be careful. We all have secrets.