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Some things are just not open for discussion. Whatever I was before transition isn't who I am now. I think it's best to focus on who I am and not what people th

Some things are just not open for discussion. Whatever I was before transition isn't who I am now. I think it's best to focus on who I am and not what people think I was. My identity is fairly simple to comprehend. Dead naming as it's called (when using or asking for a transgender person's previous legal name) isn't something you should do once you're informed that it's rude and dehumanizing (because the question itself assumes someone's name isn't their own in the first place).

tomp 11y ago
Well, you simply have different assumptions than some (most?) of us. For me, "man" and "woman" mean biological sex, not gender. Also, for me, a "name" is about the least personal thing about myself - it's what others call me, so it's inherently a cultural thing that depends on the social contract. For example, if you change your name without a good reason, most people would simply assume you're trying to run away from your past or avoid justice.
- norea-armozel 11y ago
  >Well, you simply have different assumptions than some (most?) of us. For me, "man" and "woman" mean biological sex, not gender Um no, my view isn't an assumption. Gender isn't sex. People don't call a boy a man or a girl a woman. Maybe US western culture assumes sex = gender but the rest of the world has some form of distinction from sex (biological) and gender (social). >Also, for me, a "name" is about the least personal thing about myself - it's what others call me, so it's inherently a cultural thing that depends on the social contract. For example, if you change your name without a good reason, most people would simply assume you're trying to run away from your past or avoid justice. In our US western culture a name is a name whether given or self-attributed. No one demands Prince or Madonna to give their legal names. We know them by those names in terms of their public actions. If I greet myself as Veronica it's safe to assume that is my name. It doesn't require a background check in a social setting like a party or a meetup. It's not like I'm looking to get a security clearance. Also, there's no such thing as a good reason to change one's name. You just change it for your reasons. The good and bad about it is merely a subjective valuation of the act of the change. It has no bearing in terms of the character of the person. If you can't just accept my name is Veronica upon first meeting then maybe you're just a jerk?
  - tomp 11y ago
    > People don't call a boy a man or a girl a woman Well, a "girl" is a subset of "woman", and is definitely more a woman than a man. But we can agree to disagree. > If I greet myself as Veronica it's safe to assume that is my name. Well, if you introduce yourself as "Veronica", of course I'll call you by that name. But at the same time, I still consider "What's your real/previous name?" a perfectly valid question (based on curiosity, not insults), just like I would consider it for Prince or Madonna.
    - norea-armozel 11y ago
      >"What's your real/previous name?" a perfectly valid question That's your problem right there. Veronica is my real (legal) name. It's not for you or anyone to decide what is my real (legal) name in a social situation. This is not a matter of a background check for a job or a security clearance. If you as a person can't acknowledge my name and my existence as is then the middle finger is going to be my answer back (and probably my fist if it gets rowdy).

tomp 11y ago

Well, you simply have different assumptions than some (most?) of us. For me, "man" and "woman" mean biological sex, not gender. Also, for me, a "name" is about the least personal thing about myself - it's what others call me, so it's inherently a cultural thing that depends on the social contract. For example, if you change your name without a good reason, most people would simply assume you're trying to run away from your past or avoid justice.

norea-armozel 11y ago
>Well, you simply have different assumptions than some (most?) of us. For me, "man" and "woman" mean biological sex, not gender Um no, my view isn't an assumption. Gender isn't sex. People don't call a boy a man or a girl a woman. Maybe US western culture assumes sex = gender but the rest of the world has some form of distinction from sex (biological) and gender (social). >Also, for me, a "name" is about the least personal thing about myself - it's what others call me, so it's inherently a cultural thing that depends on the social contract. For example, if you change your name without a good reason, most people would simply assume you're trying to run away from your past or avoid justice. In our US western culture a name is a name whether given or self-attributed. No one demands Prince or Madonna to give their legal names. We know them by those names in terms of their public actions. If I greet myself as Veronica it's safe to assume that is my name. It doesn't require a background check in a social setting like a party or a meetup. It's not like I'm looking to get a security clearance. Also, there's no such thing as a good reason to change one's name. You just change it for your reasons. The good and bad about it is merely a subjective valuation of the act of the change. It has no bearing in terms of the character of the person. If you can't just accept my name is Veronica upon first meeting then maybe you're just a jerk?
- tomp 11y ago
  > People don't call a boy a man or a girl a woman Well, a "girl" is a subset of "woman", and is definitely more a woman than a man. But we can agree to disagree. > If I greet myself as Veronica it's safe to assume that is my name. Well, if you introduce yourself as "Veronica", of course I'll call you by that name. But at the same time, I still consider "What's your real/previous name?" a perfectly valid question (based on curiosity, not insults), just like I would consider it for Prince or Madonna.
  - norea-armozel 11y ago
    >"What's your real/previous name?" a perfectly valid question That's your problem right there. Veronica is my real (legal) name. It's not for you or anyone to decide what is my real (legal) name in a social situation. This is not a matter of a background check for a job or a security clearance. If you as a person can't acknowledge my name and my existence as is then the middle finger is going to be my answer back (and probably my fist if it gets rowdy).