5 ms·
What absolute nonsense. Beating a pillow -- you are not hurting anybody and there is nothing wrong in it. The important distinction is to be aware of and to exp
by noondip 11y ago
What absolute nonsense. Beating a pillow -- you are not hurting anybody and there is nothing wrong in it. The important distinction is to be aware of and to express your anger, obviously not at others, but at the pillow (or exercise, etc). Such a catharsis will make you feel unburdened and relaxed, more so than from control and condemnation.
- enjo 11y agoI don't think that is good advice. There is a lot of interesting science that suggests exactly the opposite. Being angry succeeds in only one thing: making you angrier. Here is a good overview: https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf
- cthalupa 11y agoSpeaking purely from my own anecdotal personal experience: Dwelling on something and thinking about how angry it makes me certainly does make me angrier. However, in the handful of times of my life that I've gotten really, truly, into a rage over something monumental, I had no way to actually let go of it until I had a chance to go scream into a pillow and punched my mattress a few times. The relief was pretty immediate - almost all of the anger drained away. Prior to that I was too amped up to do anything constructive about the issue. After, I was able to focus enough to get to work on fixing it. I don't know how to reconcile my own personal experiences with that research, outside of a cop-out answer of "Not everyone is the same".
- dllthomas 11y agoI don't think the two are incompatible in the slightest. It could well be that expressing your anger violently 1) makes you feel calmer in the moment, and 2) trains you to be more likely to need to do so in the future. If that's the case, then "harmless" violent expression is a useful tool when others fail (as you've experienced - and certainly much preferable to directly harmful violent expression!), but other techniques should be learned and should be preferred out of habit. That said, it's absolutely the case that "Not everyone is the same".
- Retra 11y agoWho told you that and why did you believe them?
- noondip 11y agoIt's my own, personal experience and not a belief.
- coldtea 11y ago>What absolute nonsense. Beating a pillow -- you are not hurting anybody and there is nothing wrong in it. Just because "you're not hurting anybody" doesn't mean it's OK. You learn that punching things is OK when you're angry -- instead of learning how to calm down. Next time, when there won't be a pillow around, you might punch somebody, for you sure haven't learned to naturally calm.
- Evolved 11y agoI think the message molecule is trying to convey is that hitting a pillow is an unhealthy way of releasing anger because doing so conditions you to...hit things out of anger. Maybe next time your pillow isn't around but your wife is and you're more angry than usual to the point that you can't cordon it off until you find a suitable pillow. On the other hand of your response, exercise would be a healthy response but may not be possible in all situations. If you're angry at work for some reason, you can't exactly go for a jog in a business suit. The best response would be whatever calms you down and lowers your blood pressure and is something you could do in all situations. Furthermore, it would help to be cognizant of what makes you angry so you can avoid those situations and/or just force yourself into them often so you become acclimated. YMMV