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Agreed. Southeasterners as a class strongly dislike dealing with Northeasterners. In my experience, this directness and terseness is a pedagogical style that's

Agreed. Southeasterners as a class strongly dislike dealing with Northeasterners. In my experience, this directness and terseness is a pedagogical style that's prevalent amongst technical folks -engineers, programmers, scientists- from all over. When you're explaining something complex it is important to be precise. When everyone involved in the conversation has some degree of mutual respect for each other, one can safely dispense with much of the genuflection often demanded by others. Perhaps my experience is atypical.

mercer 11y ago
My experience is similar. In certain circles, usually the technical realm, but also in my family when we discuss mostly social and religious issues, there is the ability to be blunt and to the point without hurting anyone's feelings. I often miss that freedom in many of my other interactions, where every discussion is bogged down by 'negotiation' and pleasantries, all to avoid direct disagreement based on concrete arguments. That said, I also think technical types especially have a tendency to forget that in many conversations there is a personal aspect where feelings can get hurt, and that in those cases being blunt can and does hurt feelings, and detracts from the objective of the conversation. Interestingly, this personal aspect can often be present in conversations where they don't appear to be at first, and even more interestingly I've found that 'we' technical types can be rather unaware of our own personal feelings in such conversations. I've often only realized that I was much more emotionally invested in the topic after the conversation, and at least part of my behavior was just rationalizing feelings. An example is the programming language, 'stack' or editor we use. I could swear that I can discuss this rationally, and yet I've had a number of discussions where, in hindsight, I was really just defending my personal preference, and I was really just annoyed that the other person could not 'see the light'. EDIT: 'The light' being Vim, of course. Anyone who says otherwise is objectively wrong.

mercer 11y ago

My experience is similar. In certain circles, usually the technical realm, but also in my family when we discuss mostly social and religious issues, there is the ability to be blunt and to the point without hurting anyone's feelings. I often miss that freedom in many of my other interactions, where every discussion is bogged down by 'negotiation' and pleasantries, all to avoid direct disagreement based on concrete arguments. That said, I also think technical types especially have a tendency to forget that in many conversations there is a personal aspect where feelings can get hurt, and that in those cases being blunt can and does hurt feelings, and detracts from the objective of the conversation. Interestingly, this personal aspect can often be present in conversations where they don't appear to be at first, and even more interestingly I've found that 'we' technical types can be rather unaware of our own personal feelings in such conversations. I've often only realized that I was much more emotionally invested in the topic after the conversation, and at least part of my behavior was just rationalizing feelings. An example is the programming language, 'stack' or editor we use. I could swear that I can discuss this rationally, and yet I've had a number of discussions where, in hindsight, I was really just defending my personal preference, and I was really just annoyed that the other person could not 'see the light'. EDIT: 'The light' being Vim, of course. Anyone who says otherwise is objectively wrong.