4 ms·

Thanks, that's what I immediately thought. If you know someone or have formed any kind of relationship with them, that sort of "virtual hug" can be appropriate

by ipsin 11y ago

Thanks, that's what I immediately thought. If you know someone or have formed any kind of relationship with them, that sort of "virtual hug" can be appropriate, but in other contexts it can be a pretty damn creepy way to push buttons. This is me violating your personal space.

skarap 11y ago
But it's not the only possible way to violate someone's personal space (or be creepy) in an internet discussion. You could say "Last night had this strange dream where you were being eaten by lion" or "I think I'll make a poster with your photo and put it on my bedroom ceiling". The possibilities are endless. So you can either disallow all personal communication allowing only professional/on-topic stuff (maybe also making everyone use Esperanto so there are no misunderstandings) or you have real humans judging if someone is being a jerk based on their own understanding what "jerk" means. The later is how the real world was doing it for thousands of years (though this is also changing). When a child goes to school she/he is expected to behave in some normal way - parents are supposed to help create that behavior when upbringing the child. And if at school the child does something bad, they call the parents and then the parents are expected to explain the child why it is bad and make sure that doesn't happen again. Summoning the parents is (unfortunately) not an option here, but warning and banning people should work.
xiaoma 11y ago
In Latino cultures, a hug would be completely appropriate. Why is it your culture that gets to decide? I find that attitude in itself offensive, especially considering we're talking about text. If you get creeped out by even a virtual hug and see more open people as violators, that's your problem, not theirs.
- alextgordon 11y ago
  It's an obvious restatement of American christian values. Any physical contact is implicitly sexually charged, and so even a reference to it is objectionable. Of course if we're going to apply one religiously-inspired value system, then why not Saudi Arabian values?
  - bakabaka9 11y ago
    I second that. Not wearing towel on head sure is offensive! :)
- d9h549f34w6 11y ago
  Exactly. I think this is the aspect that's "rubbed me the wrong way" about this CoC thing. I don't come from a culture where workplace physical contact would be seen as acceptable, but I'm not about to claim that that's some sort of human universal without a lot more research. The sense I get from GitHub's CoC effort is that it's attempting to codify supposedly universal modes of proper human interaction without recognizing that it's sourced in a specific, local culture.
- ipsin 11y ago
  I will plead ignorance here. In Latino cultures, the individual is not allowed to refuse a hug from a stranger? Or it's considered to be extremely rude and insulting to do so? Please lay it out for me, in as much detail as you're comfortable providing.

by ipsin 11y ago

skarap 11y ago

But it's not the only possible way to violate someone's personal space (or be creepy) in an internet discussion. You could say "Last night had this strange dream where you were being eaten by lion" or "I think I'll make a poster with your photo and put it on my bedroom ceiling". The possibilities are endless. So you can either disallow all personal communication allowing only professional/on-topic stuff (maybe also making everyone use Esperanto so there are no misunderstandings) or you have real humans judging if someone is being a jerk based on their own understanding what "jerk" means. The later is how the real world was doing it for thousands of years (though this is also changing). When a child goes to school she/he is expected to behave in some normal way - parents are supposed to help create that behavior when upbringing the child. And if at school the child does something bad, they call the parents and then the parents are expected to explain the child why it is bad and make sure that doesn't happen again. Summoning the parents is (unfortunately) not an option here, but warning and banning people should work.

xiaoma 11y ago

In Latino cultures, a hug would be completely appropriate. Why is it your culture that gets to decide? I find that attitude in itself offensive, especially considering we're talking about text. If you get creeped out by even a virtual hug and see more open people as violators, that's your problem, not theirs.

alextgordon 11y ago
It's an obvious restatement of American christian values. Any physical contact is implicitly sexually charged, and so even a reference to it is objectionable. Of course if we're going to apply one religiously-inspired value system, then why not Saudi Arabian values?
- bakabaka9 11y ago
  I second that. Not wearing towel on head sure is offensive! :)
d9h549f34w6 11y ago
Exactly. I think this is the aspect that's "rubbed me the wrong way" about this CoC thing. I don't come from a culture where workplace physical contact would be seen as acceptable, but I'm not about to claim that that's some sort of human universal without a lot more research. The sense I get from GitHub's CoC effort is that it's attempting to codify supposedly universal modes of proper human interaction without recognizing that it's sourced in a specific, local culture.
ipsin 11y ago
I will plead ignorance here. In Latino cultures, the individual is not allowed to refuse a hug from a stranger? Or it's considered to be extremely rude and insulting to do so? Please lay it out for me, in as much detail as you're comfortable providing.