For a different take on this problem see NVC: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication

For a different take on this problem see NVC: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication Also note the crucial symmetry, besides trying to ask X, it is also important to hear X even if Y is spoken.