4 ms·

women used to hold the power in online dating Anyone who has ever seen a pretty woman's okcupid inbox can attest that being dog-piled by hundreds of desperate

• pyre 11y ago
  It's "power" in the same way that a hiring manager inundated with resumes from desperate job-hunters is in a position of power over them.
• jff 11y ago
  All those men want to talk to her. She decides if she wants to reply to them or just ignore them. I would find it odd to claim the men were holding the power in this situation. The neat thing about Tinder is that nobody has to assess those first-contact messages, they just swipe people they think they'd be interested in and if they both like each other, they can talk. I've never used it but I'd say it's probably equalized a lot of things--men no longer spend all their time carefully composing introductory messages only to be ignored, women don't (necessarily) have to sort through hundreds of "wanna fuk?" messages to find the decent ones.
  • michaelchisari 11y ago
    I would find it odd to claim the men were holding the power in this situation It's the stable marriage problem. There's higher risk initiating, but higher reward. Being in a receptive position means you're unable to even try for your highest preferred choice. You have to wait to see if that person chooses you. It's not a clear cut power dynamic of one over the other, though.
    • fossuser 11y ago
      Of course women can also obviously send a message - just because they don't have to culturally doesn't mean they can't do it.
      • michaelchisari 11y ago
        And men also get messages. When I was online dating, I'd get between 1 and 4 a day. But my assumption is that we're dealing with the aggregate behavior, not the outliers.