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It's not more efficient if the other person is just rambling at you. As someone who's a good listener and doesn't like to interrupt people, this is a great rea

It's not more efficient if the other person is just rambling at you. As someone who's a good listener and doesn't like to interrupt people, this is a great reason to have digital communication. I can ignore your blathering. If we're doing an IRL 1:1 I'm going to slowly get more frustrated at your run-on thoughts. If anyone has any tips for how to convey "Yes, I got the message, move on to the next thing you were going to say or stop talking." firmly & diplomatically, I'd love to hear it. It's been a lifelong struggle.

alexashka 11y ago
You're basically people-pleasing. This is because you don't have the ability to replace the people you feel the need to please at your expense, with people you can have a reciprocal relationship with. I'd say people are in this situation to some extent (and most people their whole lives, let's be honest :)) until they get high enough in their career and maturity to have enough power to have others cater to them and not vice versa. Not cater in the sense that you abuse them and they can't abuse you but in terms of you having the wisdom to establish largely mutually-beneficial relationships and cut out the ones that aren't - win-win. I'd say almost nobody younger than 30 has the ability or the wisdom to do this. As long as you are learning and becoming more and more independent, both financially and 'spiritually', then it'll be fine in due time. If you're not doing that, you most likely bitch and moan to others as means of therapy and guess what, they don't wanna hear it either, they're thinking 'yes I got the message, move on', except you can't move on because you're not moving anywhere really :) ps. What most people do is limit the amount of interaction they have with one another - you bitch to me for an hour a week and I bitch to you a similar amount. That way we both get to de-stress while not overwhelming one another. :P

alexashka 11y ago

You're basically people-pleasing. This is because you don't have the ability to replace the people you feel the need to please at your expense, with people you can have a reciprocal relationship with. I'd say people are in this situation to some extent (and most people their whole lives, let's be honest :)) until they get high enough in their career and maturity to have enough power to have others cater to them and not vice versa. Not cater in the sense that you abuse them and they can't abuse you but in terms of you having the wisdom to establish largely mutually-beneficial relationships and cut out the ones that aren't - win-win. I'd say almost nobody younger than 30 has the ability or the wisdom to do this. As long as you are learning and becoming more and more independent, both financially and 'spiritually', then it'll be fine in due time. If you're not doing that, you most likely bitch and moan to others as means of therapy and guess what, they don't wanna hear it either, they're thinking 'yes I got the message, move on', except you can't move on because you're not moving anywhere really :) ps. What most people do is limit the amount of interaction they have with one another - you bitch to me for an hour a week and I bitch to you a similar amount. That way we both get to de-stress while not overwhelming one another. :P